My Kind of Woman

15. The Inevitable, Painful Truth

AN: Changed the cover but not sure if I'll stick with it yet... 

With Jackie still sick, school was incredibly dull. I texted her all day, and when she fell asleep, I sulked a little. My other friends planned that we practised during our breaks, but it was nowhere near as fun as eating lunch in the art classroom and yapping away for an hour. So, when the end of the day came around, I was quick to pull on my coat and jog for my bike, getting to the front of the school rush. But at the gate, I was stopped by a familiar face. Giana.

"Hello, you." I said, clutching my handlebars tightly.

She didn't smile."Norah. Let's walk."

How serious! I felt my heart start to sink a little bit inside me, because I really didn't know what I was going to say to her.

We started to walk slowly in the direction of the town centre - so slowly, that other girls from our school were walking on the road to pass us. I would've sped up, but Giana was being so sluggish as if she was trying to punish me already. I tried to pay attention to anything but how awkward I felt; the faint chirping of birds nested in trees, lots of trees, the shine of frozen puddles beside the gutter, the laughter and chatter of girls from our school. But eventually as we ambled out the other side of the town centre, there wasn't much chatter and laughter, there wasn't really any sound at all. I begged she would say something then, or that Jackie would materialise in front of us and save me from embarrassment.

My bike felt like more of weight than usual as the sidewalk got thinner and began to bend more. Giana had her mouth and nose nuzzled down into her red tartan scarf; the top of her cheekbones were blotched red in the cold. I continued to glance at her quite pointedly, showing her I wanted her to say something. Walking was boring.

We came to the road's end, a long, low metal fence that separated the tarmac and a never ending field. That's when we silently decided to stop walking. I tried to flip my collar up to my chin while juggling my bike but failed awkwardly.

"Why won't we move?" She asked suddenly.

"Huh? You wanna go back?" I muttered sheepishly, turning my bike.

"No." She said. "Why are we so far apart? We're not moving."

What could I say to that? I just chewed on my bottom lip and stared out to the field, imagining running as far away as I could. There, I'd never have to think about women again. Though the distance probably wouldn't stop me from thinking about Mio.

"I'm sorry." I told her. I was so incredibly guilty about my behaviour, that I felt there wasn't much else I could say in response.

I saw her shake her head out the corner of my eye. "Why won't you just say how you feel?"

Because I can't! I wanted to say. But I didn't. I said nothing.

"Why, Norah!" She yelled, and I felt my bones jump.

"Because I feel stuff, but not with you!" I blurted, gripping my bike seat with shaky hands. Confrontation was not my style, and like always, I didn't think before I spoke. I truly was an idiot.

I looked at her then.

She was frowning. Really frowning like I stuck a knife in her chest. She whispered, "not me?"

I had to be honest. I couldn't lie to those wobbly blue eyes any longer, she didn't deserve it. I thought in another life I would've loved Giana, like a girlfriend, like a madwoman, but not in this one. In this life, I couldn't. Not when Mio Reed existed.

I shook my head solemnly. "I'm sorry, Gi."

I saw her expression sink lower. I watched her eyes get all glossy and saw the tears sprout along her lower eyelid. She started to cry, silently at first, but once her cheeks were streaked wet from it, she made a sobbing sound.