My Kind of Woman

32. Eggy Mouth

AN; Norah eats eggs and friendship dilemmas seem to be the new norm. Song that half inspired me for the chapter was Lonely Shade of Blue by Nick Leng. You guys' comments make my day and i love you all soooo much. Enjoy this one!

I woke the next morning with the memory of her body imprinted on my mind and hands. It was still as if I could feel her, every part of her; soft belly, pink-bitten lips, strong red tongue, fluttering heart, the shape of her ribs, her smell right where her neck and shoulder met. I could still hear my preening as she praised me, and her tired voice in my hair. My daze from the day previous still hadn't worn off. I wasn't really sure if it was a daze anymore though, or rather the lingering satisfaction of hearing what I'd been waiting for.

I need you, Norah. The words still made my heart rev up inside me like some powerful motor. Oh, to be needed!

I thought about being needed as I showered, as I pissed, as I changed into my uniform, as I said goodbye and on the road down to school. I hadn't been thinking of much else. And because of that, I didn't realise until I was around the corner from school that I still didn't have Jackie. We hadn't spoken in over a week, and I still hadn't planned anything sensible to say. The realisation struck me with an impossible anxiety, and I turned on my heel and skulked back up to my house.

Even if I went, I couldn't avoid her. We had classes together, and the building was only small. There were only so many places I could go, and eventually (and awkwardly) we would run into one another. Then what would I do? Gush a poor apology and fall to my knees begging? Or just walk right through her like a ghost? If I did the latter, we'd surely never go back to normal, but the former would only damage us further.

Some of the girls from my class called to me on the way up the road, asking where I'd been and if I was okay, but I was on high alert. I didn't want to run into Jackie on the way up. I spoke to them briefly, backing up with every word. I was going to take the long way home, just to avoid the stretching road that most students took to school. I took a sharp left turn, hiking up over a worn wooden fence and dropping into a tall grass field. Those kinds of fields were easy to scare yourself in. The blades of grass came up by my temples; if I jumped, I would see the rising of hills and the pimpled stretch of fields off to the west. This way was longer, only by a few minutes, but it kept me off the roads and brought me right up to my backyard.

Standing still would frighten me. I'd scare myself into thinking there was a rustling nearing me, a figure stalking through the grass, close enough to yank me into their grasp. But if I thought too much of that, I'd start looking over my shoulder, and there was no use in that since they could come at any angle. I was defenceless.

I started to run a bit. Then quickly, using my arms to swat away the lengths of grass. My legs had started to itch with the dryness of the field, and Twin's advancing summer. I was giddy; jumping and panting as I sprinted.

By then, my dad would've left for work and like every other day for the past two or so weeks, I'd have the house to myself. It wasn't quite as fun as I found it in the beginning, faintly under the aching pain of my previous heartbreak. I think I'd just enjoyed the lonesomeness to grieve.

I smiled to myself as I ran. There was no need for grievance anymore. I was needed.

My hands, in their frivolous swatting, found my backyard fence, knowing it by its chipped black paint and battered posts. I hit it accidentally at first, then fumbled and grabbed, launching over it and into the safety of my yard. I imagined the thing chasing me scratching its head at the forcefield my yard fence provided and slinking back into the hide of the grass. With that thought, I regained my breath and fished through my pockets for my keys.