You Can Go Home Again

Chapter 1

My breath leaves my body as I stand on the threshold of my past once more. It has been two years since I have been home, and for good reason. I dropped out of college and traveled to many of the places I have always wanted to go. I have checked more things off my bucket list in the past couple years than I imagined I ever would. I have worked a variety of jobs to earn enough money for a bus ticket or place to stay. I'm a millennial, no one expects much different from me. No one except my family that is.

"Laney, you only have one more year. Just finish your last year, and then go exploring," Mom pleads with me as I pack my suitcase.

"I wish it was that simple, Mom, but times are different now. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, but I was wrong." In so many ways. I touch my bare wrist where a bracelet used to live. I thought it would stay there forever.

"Come now, Kay," my father steps into my room now too. "The stubborn gene runs quite deeply through both you," Mom shoots Dad a look, but he just smirks at her. "Laney has made up her mind. As long as she knows we are not paying for any of it, then I see no reason to stop her from going out to find whatever she is looking for." I knew they would never pay for any of it, but that's what savings are for.

"I just don't understand why her little quest can't wait one more year. I mean, the finish line is right there," Mom expresses her opinions to Dad as if I am not in the room. Her exasperation is understandable. Unfortunately, too much has happened for me to finish right now, especially at that school. Of course, there is no need for them to know all the details. It's better for everyone to just default to the conclusion that I make the decisions I do because I'm a millennial.

I always loved school. I always wanted to go to college. I never felt the societal pressure to attend like so many my age, I just loved learning as much as I could. I wanted to get as many degrees as I could and then maybe eventually teach at a University or curate at a major museum, or something where I would never stop learning.

I still love to learn. That hasn't changed despite everything else that has. I read everything I can get my hands on. Some of my jobs in my travels were tutoring English in countries where that was not their first language; my favorite way to teach it was to translate some of their traditional bedtime stories or cultural lore. This was just as beneficial to me as it was to whomever I was tutoring because it allowed me a deeper insight to where I was. Other areas, I was a bartender. This was also a great way to pick up on languages, especially slang. One of the most interesting jobs I had though was being a milkmaid. Who knew that was still even a thing?

But in my travels, I got word from home. My grandfather is sick, terminal actually. He is the only one who has never lost faith in me, despite any of the decisions I have made. I got my love of learning from him, no doubt about it; we used to discuss the books I was reading, the papers I was working on for school, the science and math that stumped me only for mere moments before I would eventually master them. When I dropped out of school, I was embarrassed to tell him. The one person in my life I never wanted to disappoint, and I knew this was something that would do just that. He surprised me though; he simply smiled and told me to follow the path I was being called to. He thought it was simply God pointing me down a different direction in order to get where He needed me to be. I never told him the truth though. I never told anyone the truth.

It was time to come home, and it was time to tell the truth. I am afraid though. I want Pawpaw to pass on with only the fond memories we have together, but I know he deserves more than that. I have not faced my past, I simply ran away from it. Far, far away. I supported myself along the way, well enough so that I still have means to leave again once this is all over. And, no matter what happens in there, leaving again is exactly what I plan to do.