You Can Go Home Again

Chapter 14

I cannot believe this day is finally here. I feel like it could all be a dream. I pinch myself, and I jump from the pain. This is real. This is really happening. I study my reflection in the mirror, dressed in nothing but my robe. Circles reside under my eyes from stress and lack of sleep, but it's nothing a little cover-up can't fix. Hope said she would help me with my hair since I have absolutely no idea how to wear it. She should be here soon too, so I'll go ahead and begin to put on my make-up. I'm doing my best to remain as calm as possible, but how can I with what will be happening later this afternoon? A black and white picture of Pawpaw and Grandma hangs from the frame of my mirror; they are here with me today in more ways than just this picture.

"Knock, knock," Hope calls out whilst also actually knocking on the door.

"Come on in," I answer, smiling at her through my reflection.

"Wow, you look beautiful." Hope begins to tear up, and I quickly smack her.

"No crying! If you cry, I might cry, and then my make-up is ruined!"

"So sorry. No more tears until after he sees your perfectly made-up face." Hope opens her small duffel and begins unloading the contents neatly onto the bed.

"Wow, you came prepared."

"Well, you never made up your mind between an up or down or half-up style, so I wanted to be ready no matter what." Hope pulls out her container of rollers and begins brushing my hair to prep it for them.

"It's a good thing my make-up was done before you started this yank game on my head." We shoot each other looks in the mirror, very maturely sticking out our tongues and crossing our eyes.

"Hey Harper," Hope begins meekly. Now she doesn't look at me.

"What's up Hope?"

"Are you happy?" I sit and think about that question for a moment. For so long, I forgot what happiness felt like. I knew that getting my happiness meant ruining someone else's, so I didn't want it. But now?

"Yeah," I answer, letting the smile spread across my face. "I really am." I turn my gaze up to the photo of Pawpaw and Grandma once more, knowing the feeling they must have had when the picture was taken.

"Good," Hope says quietly. I study her face for a moment. She is smiling, but sadness clouds her eyes. Have I caused her sadness? Is she sad because the man she thought she loved didn't actually love her back?

"You can talk about it if you want," I offer, worried that if I don't say something, she never will.

"Talk about what?" Hope replies lightly. She begins taking sections of my hair and rolling them up tightly.

"A lot has changed for you since I came home, and I just don't want you to be harboring any resentment toward me."

"Oh Harper, I don't resent you," she laughs as she finishes rolling my hair. "I would much rather have found out the truth of everything sooner rather than later. Especially if later meant, like, walking down the aisle later." Hope sprays my hair with a light coat of hairspray before sitting on the bed. "Besides, with every failed relationship, I'm one step closer to the right one." Hope attempts to mask her sadness with a hopeful perspective as she makes her way to the open mirror with her makeup bag.

"As I have said countless times, you're the ultimate dream when it comes to what guys are looking for."

"Oh stop," Hope scoffs as she applies her primer.