You Can Go Home Again

Chapter 16

"We've been driving for a while, Ray. Where are we going?" Ray's hands tighten on the steering wheel, whitening his knuckles. He doesn't answer though. Ray clenches his jaw and picks up the speed. I hold onto the handle above the window; we always called it the "Oh Shit" handle, except Mom. Mom only ever used it when teaching us to drive and always called it the "Save Me, Jesus" handle. Either suffices for how I am feeling this very moment. Ray turned down a back highway long ago, one that I usually avoid. There's nothing out this way except bayou and crawfish and catfish farms for miles. What if Ray is going to kill me?

The sun is high in the sky now, and heat waves dance off the highway before we can reach them. Love bugs crash into the windshield over and over, leaving large spots where they kamikazed. Egrets wade through the bayou, flying away now and then, presumably to a new fishing spot. This time yesterday, we put Pawpaw in the ground. I'm sure there were many minute details like these that I completely missed in our day of mourning. The ringtone on Ray's phone breaks me from my reverie.

"Make any sound, and I will crash us both without hesitation," Ray warns as he points his cell phone at me. I nod so that he might see my compliance to this whole situation. He arcs an eyebrow before answering his phone. "Hello? Hey Tom, what's up? No, not since I told her you went to run a few errands... Calm down, I'm sure she's fine... I wanted to run back to the office at school, I forgot one of the answer keys there... Yeah, I'll call if I hear from her... Tom, don't do that... Tom, she just lost Ed too. She probably is grieving in her own way... Yeah, I'll be back in a couple hours, but keep me updated if you get ahold of her... Sure thing, Tom. Bye." Ray hangs up the phone, and I let out a huge breath. I didn't even realize I was holding my breath during the phone call.

"Why didn't you just tell him I was with you?"

"Harper, you have to understand something. You have poisoned me and my once great relationships with your dad and Rick. Rick and I made a promise not to talk to you about any relationship type stuff until he and I had more of a chance to do so," Ray slams his hand down on the steering wheel, making me jump slightly. "He broke that promise first, although, it was only a matter of time anyway with how you ensnare the men around you. Then," he gets louder and takes a deep breath, "Tom asks me to deliver a simple message to you, but also makes me promise that he gets to talk to you about before any of our relationships move forward. Tom asks me to pass the message along to Rick as well, who, lo and behold, couldn't keep himself from crawling into bed with you!" He's practically yelling now, and I feel like a small child being chastised for stealing an extra cookie after dinner.

"That was my fault Ray, I'm sorry," all calm from my voice is gone now. "I never meant to hurt anyone..."

"Well, that's the point isn't it?" He growls. "You never thought beyond your own little world. You never stopped to think how your decisions would affect the very foundation of other's relationships." Ray picks up speed again, and a pit begins to form in my stomach. Ray doesn't intend for any of these issues to end with simple conversation; he's going to end the problem by ending me.

"Ray, think about this," I begin trying to reason with him, not seeing an alternative. "If you simply eliminate me, the problem," I add, attempting to show that I agree with him, "then you'll still have issues with Dad and Derrick. You'll be the man who killed me."

"Oh, sweet, naïve Laney, you think my plan is to just kill you?" He laughs in a way that brings me more unease. "No, no, no, no, no. That would be too simple and too easily traceable back to me."

"Then, what is your plan?"

"You never could wait for anything, could you?" A strange smile creeps across his face. Unease fills me as chills creep up my spine. "You know, I remember your sixteenth birthday. Your parents had planned a surprise party at Crawfish Eddie's," I remember this too. Crawfish Eddie's has always been my favorite restaurant in town because of the fun and casual atmosphere and, of course, the crawfish. Dad and Ray had been playing golf that morning, so they were together when they picked me up from track and field practice. "You had swiped Tom's phone without either of us realizing until it was too late." Hope has texted Dad, telling him to stall just a little longer. They were still waiting on Jared, my best friend, who had also been at track and field practice with me. I had known something was up when he hadn't mentioned my birthday all day.