You Can Go Home Again

Chapter 6

Sitting in the backseat of Derrick's SUV while listening to Mom and Derrick discuss errands and other topics that need to be done today, makes me sleepy. I am afraid to doze off though. I don't remember all my dreams, but I do remember the bad feelings they gave me. I am glad Derrick and I began discussing some things in the hospital, but I do not know where to go from here. Derrick mentioned something about Pawpaw not being as responsive as he was a couple of days ago. Maybe all of this was punishment for not truly speaking with him while I had the chance. Maybe I should talk to someone else about it first, someone who was not as affected by my sudden leaving and who might be understanding.

"Is that okay with you Harper?" Mom's voice breaks me from my thoughts, only I have no clue what she said before.

"Sorry Mom," I try sitting up a little to be more attentive. "What did you say?"

She turns in her seat smiling at me, "Sorry honey, I hope you aren't too uncomfortable back there. I was saying I may stop into the store to get a couple of things as well as your prescription from the pharmacy. Is that okay, or would you rather we drop you off at home first?" Her smile is so sincere, and I can see she is trying. We have to work on our relationship together though.

"I can wait in the car, I don't mind."

"Are you sure?"

"I really don't mind. Besides, the store is on the way home, and I don't want y'all to go more out of your ways for me." Especially since we wouldn't have been at the hospital or picking up prescriptions if it weren't for me. "Mom, was Pawpaw upset when I didn't come over the next morning?" There's a long pause and awkward glances between Mom and Derrick that make me uncomfortable. "Is something wrong?"

"He's gotten worse," Derrick finally says. I can see Mom quickly wipe a single tear from her cheek. I remember Derrick mentioning something about this in the hospital, but the line between dreams and reality in there is still a little foggy.

"What does that mean exactly?" I ask a little throaty.

"I think that last day you had with Pawpaw, will be his last day like that sweetie." Silence blankets the car as we finally pull into the Kroger parking lot. Mom opens her door and says, "I will just be a jiff," before exiting toward the store. I assumed Derrick would be going in with her, but he stays right where he is.

"You can go in too if you need. I promise I won't run away." I smile and wince as I move in just the wrong way. Damn appendix.

"No, your mom and I discussed it, and it will be quicker for her to go in alone." He doesn't look back at me, and he keeps a firm grip on the steering wheel. I want to say something, but what? Our last conversation ended with him wanting to know where we go from here. The thing is, I don't know. I still have too much that has been left unsaid that would just end things with us all over again. Plus, now I have to find a way to inform Hope of everything before Ray can twist and manipulate the story to fit his own gains. What is he doing with Hope anyway? He doesn't love her. Was he hoping that the news would reach me and draw me out? How long have they been together? What if he does something similar to what he did to me to her? I need to get my mind off them until I can figure out a plan of action.

"So, Derrick," let's try a normal conversation not tied up with any kind of tension, "how is the professor life?" He laughs lightly and shakes his head.

"Too much tension for you Harper?" He knows me too well. "The professor life is good. I was finally granted tenure right after you left. So now I am working on a book in my spare time."