You Can Go Home Again

Chapter 9

Things seem to stay calm for a while. Amazingly, I've made it to the staple removal process, plus I'm actually feeling better. I've even been sleeping better, not waking up until almost nine! Unfortunately, my dreams still haunt me. They haven't changed all that much; either I'm in a universe where everyone but Ray hates me or I'm reliving my past. There hasn't been much of a change with Pawpaw either. I have been going over there everyday to sit with him. Some days he's telling me stories of him and Grandma when they were younger, other times he's kind of mumbling nonsense. Most of our extended family has gone back to their normal lives, just waiting for our household to update them when it's either time for goodbyes or a funeral. Luckily, there hasn't been too much drama with Ray or Derrick either. Every now and then there are awkward or wanting glances between Derrick and I, but I think we are both afraid of what might be said if we talk alone again. Of course, Ray has played the innocent act since that incident in my bedroom. I know he has this good side; I've seen it firsthand. That seems to be the only side everyone else has seen though.

"Earth to Harper," Hope snaps her fingers in front of my face.

"S- Sorry, I must've zoned out."

"Well, I was saying that Stanton, Thomas and I wanted to take you out to Gator Alley tonight now that your antibiotics are done. We thought Stanton or I could be the designated driver since you and Thomas definitely never are." We both laugh at this remark, knowing how true it is.

"Why don't we just walk or share a Lyft or Uber?"

"We thought that might be a little far to walk with you still healing and your first time imbibing in almost two weeks. An Uber or Lyft could work if you really want."

"I just want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves. Plus, we can always call one of the many adults we know to come pick us up at the end of the night." Hope shoots a sideways glance at me. Two of those many adults Hope and I have still avoided discussing. Now that it's just the two of us alone in the car, there's no way one of them could interrupt us.

"I wanted to invite Ray. And Rick, for you of course." Hope bites her lower lip, obviously trying to find the right words to say. I feel so guilty that she has to try this hard just to talk with me.

"Hope, there's a lot of history there for me, with both of them," I reluctantly say, trailing off with the end of the sentence.

"Can you elaborate please?"

"Listen, I know you think you're happy with Ray."

"I am happy with Ray. I only hoped you, of all people, would be able to understand that."

"It's not the age difference! It's the person!" I practically shout. Hope slams her palm against the steering wheel.

"Why?" She hisses, turning to face me since we are stopped at a red light. It's my turn to bite my lip. "I know you and Ray have a past." My eyes momentarily go wide, but I take a deep breath wondering if she will elaborate.

"Is that what Ray told you?"

"Relationships are about honesty. Perhaps one day, you'll learn that and apply that to your own."

"Excuse me?"

"Harper, please. Don't act all high and mighty. We all know there are reasons you left that you never told anyone. Not even Rick, who was supposedly the love of your life. All of that still wouldn't be such a big deal if you weren't acting the way you have been."

"How have I been acting that's so offensive?"

"One: judging who other people date. Two: telling people they should be more open and honest with the people they love when you have yet to sort out your own baggage. Three: coming home with a new name and expecting everyone to be okay with just switching over. Need I go on?"