Cassidy and Carter

Chapter 12: Carter

I tuck the girls into bed with kisses on their forehead and go in search of my other girl who I'd like to kiss in other places before I tuck her into bed. I find her folding laundry in her bedroom, so I stand in the doorframe and admire her. Her bun is atrocious and there could very well be some type of small creature making a home in there, but I'm so far gone for this woman I even find that cute. I want to come home to that nest on her head every night.

"Hi Cart." She pointedly looks at me.

"If you're going to sit there and watch mind as well be useful and do some laundry." I eagerly move to help her. I can't say I've ever been eager to help someone do laundry, but here I am.

"Those girls are lucky to have you Cassidy. I know you don't hear that enough, but you are doing an amazing job with them, with this house.. I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourself, I hope you are?"

She sighs as she lays out a purple and pink dress that is leaving glitter all over her hands.. I'm going to assume that's Mia's. That girl and her fucking glitter.

"Some days I am. Some days I feel like I'm doing right by them and some days I feel like I'm not enough. This is so fucking hard Carter. I never guessed it could be this hard. I feel alone." She looks to me with big brown eyes and seems a little surprised she admitted that to me.

"I can't say I understand what you go through baby, but I can say that your sisters adore you. Even on those days you feel like you aren't enough they are still loving you guarantee that. God baby they are wonderful. They are smart and head strong. They seem so mature and capable and I know that is because of you. Because of what you've given them and what you've given up for them."

I grab her sparkling hands and make her turn to me. I tuck a piece of the nest behind her ear so I can see her eyes and it takes me a minute to formulate my thoughts because she's so beautiful it hurts.

"As for the alone part... I'm here. I know you've been clear about what you want, but I'm right here. Give me a chance baby and I'll be here everyday for as many of the moments as you'll allow. I could help you raise them. I could help with laundry, dishes and homework. I can do school drop off like a fucking pro. I could join the shit out of the PTA." She giggles and a tear runs down her cheek.

"With a mouth like that the PTA won't have you."

"Mmm but with a mouth like this would you have me?" I kiss down the side of her neck. She grips the back of my hair and pulls me up to face her again. I'm getting hard now because that was very sexy.. but I'm trying to have a serious talk right now. Dick, this is not the fucking time. I'm trying to talk some sense into him, but he won't listen.

"You want to do this?" She looks so serious it sobers my dick's thoughts.

"Yes, Cassidy. All I have wanted from the beginning is to do this. I don't want this friends with benefits thing we've been doing, I want a relationship. I want dates and consistency. I want to be invited to dinner every night and help you cook. I want the girls to know we are together and that they can count on me to show up. Just try it with me baby. I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you, Ella or Mia so don't compare me to your father. Don't fight this because you're scared."

She's nodding her head at me like she's going to agree. I'm feeling a little shocked and I need to hear it spelled out for me.

"Tell me what you want. Tell me where we go from here and I'll go there. I'll go there so fucking hard."

She laughs and wipes her tears while she rests her forehead against my chest. I run my hands down her back and she takes deep breaths, calming the tears. She's so warm and soft. She smells really good and nothing has crawled out of her hair to gouge my eyes out yet so this feels promising.

"Okay." She whispers.

"I'm going to need more then that Cassidy. Lay it out for me. If you give me an inch I'm going to take a very long mile so tell me in your words what you want from me, what you'll allow from me."

"I feel a little lost right now Cart. I'm tired and so unsure of everything. I can't direct you because I don't even know what direction I'm going in."

She looks into my eyes and I can almost feel her words. She's hurting and she needs me. My resolve settles and I know there is no turning back for me now. I'm going to give these girls my all and pray they decide I'm worth keeping.

Captain Carter is here and I'm steering this sparkly fucking ship now so let's hope I don't hit a ice burg.