Abnormal (L x reader)

32. Sleeping Problems

"Do you speak many other languages?" he asked, snapping you from your thoughts. Thinking about it, you nodded.

"Well yeah, I learnt Japanese and English in high school but I had problems with sleep so sometimes I'd pass the time by learning other languages. It was a bad habit that I should've grown out of but I still struggle with it now," you admitted, leaning back beside him. As you stared up at the ceiling, L kept his eyes on you.

"So you still have problems with sleep?" he continued. You took a glance at him from the side of your eye, noticing that he was staring at you yet again. You gave a small nod, pushing your laptop off of your lap and onto the bed beside you. From there, you pulled your knees to your chest, leaning back against the headboard along with L.

"Yeah, I have specific things that I use to help me sleep but some work better than others."

"Like what?" he pressed, keeping his eyes on you.

"I used to take medication for it but it made me feel sick so I stopped. I also have a teddy bear I've since I was younger Mrs Yagami gave to me, it helps some times but less often than it used to. The thing that usually works the best is having someone I trust in the room," you said, not thinking before you spoke. Even you were surprised by how much you had shared, only Kerrick knowing about the bear but other than that he was in the dark.

"Who usually stays with you? Kerrick?" he guessed. You nodded.

"Yes, Kerrick is the one I have to stay with me. He doesn't actually know about my sleeping problem and it's best if he didn't know. If he thought that I couldn't get to sleep without me then he wouldn't leave my side for even a second."

"What about in the car yesterday?" L asked, bringing that situation to mind. You had fallen asleep on L's shoulder while the two of you were on your way back to the task force building from the Yagami household.

"I guess I trust you enough to fall asleep around you then, not that I'm surprised. We've already established that we are fond of each other and for the amount that you watch me, I should hope I feel safe," you joked, you tone making hard to pick up on. But L seemed to pick up on it, giving a faint smile.

"Where is Kerrick now?" he asked, shifting his gaze to the bed. You sighed, stretching out your legs on the bed.

"He said he was going to be away for a few days."

"Then how are you going to get to sleep?" You hesitated, not knowing what to say. When Kerrick wasn't around you would just deal with not being able to sleep and stay up.

"All I can really do is see if the bear will work and if it doesn't... I guess I'll stay up," you answered, not holding anything back. It was the truth, without anyone there you wouldn't be able to get to sleep. It had been something you had suffered with as a child, not feeling safe in your own home. But this was before the Yagami family and even before you were trapped in that library. It was back when you lived with your biological parents that you lost your ability to sleep without someone you trusted nearby.

Your father wasn't very kind to both you and your mother, he was abusive and there was nothing you could do to stop him when he went into his rages. He prioritized alcohol above his own family, then he would get angry if he couldn't get any or if he got drunk. There was never a time in that place that you felt safe, but you worried more for your mother because she took most of the pain.

It was something you hadn't remembered for a long time but she would hide you under the kitchen the sink. She would tell you to keep quiet and there you would silently cry as you listened to all of the horrible things your father did to her. It was awful but after each beating, your mother seemed to get up and continue as if nothing had happened. You had always questioned why she did this, remembering how you had thought it was idiotic to stay there. But now that you were older, you understood that she had nowhere else to go. And the house you lived in, although filled with constant pain, was the safest place for you. Your father would rarely lay a hand on you, if you kept out of his way then you would get away without him hurting you. It was only when he saw you that he would feel the need to give you a harsh shove that you would receive anything physically.

"Miss Yagami?" L called, trying to get your attention. You snapped out of your thoughts, not noticing how you had completely zoned out.

"Sorry, what?" you questioned, rubbing your eyes in hopes it would help you keep your mind in the present rather than wandering back to old memories you wished not to remember.

"I asked if you were okay, is something wrong?" he asked, turning his body so that he fully faced you. There was no way of escaping this conversation so you decided to just talk.

"I know you really want to know why I can't sleep. Well... it's hard for me to bring it up, I mean I know I come across as quite emotionless but I went through some messed up stuff. People have been calling me a weirdo for as long as I remember, I mean my own father used to call me a freak." L watched you as you talked, you refusing to meet his gaze.

"The reason I can't sleep is that I have an underlying fear that something will happen to me while I'm sleeping. Nothing significantly bad has ever happened while I've slept but I've woken up to countless bad things happening to my mother while she was vulnerable, sleeping," you finished glancing up at him.

"My guess is that you're referring to your biological parents," he suggested. You nodded, confirming his thought.

"Yeah, I never really bring them up because my childhood wasn't very pleasant but that is where my sleeping problem stems from," you answered. L took a moment to think, leaving you both in silence. Whilst he did this his eyes remained on you, making you keep your gaze fixed on your hands.

"Would you let me help you?" he asked. Not knowing what he was referring, you couldn't help but ask.

"Help me do what?"

"Let me help you sleep."

A little bit more L before we progress with the actual storyline of death note. This is just a disclaimer, but there is going to be a point where the relationship between (Y/n) and L is prioritized and the actual storyline is stopped. I wanted to include some of it but don't want it to be one of those stories where everything is the same except the reader and L get married and that's it, cause that's boring and I wouldn't read that shit either. Anyway, yeah. Don't really know where I'm going with this but if you get it, you get it. If you don't, I'll probably mention something about it in a later chapter.