Abnormal (L x reader)

36. Dislike?

The day continued like any other, the only real difference being Misa chattering away as you tried to do your work. It became quite distracting and you had wished to ask her to be quiet, but after receiving a look from Light you had decided against it. Misa could be very annoying, especially in times where you needed to do work, but she was Light's girlfriend and you knew that you needed to accept that. Light was someone that you cared about greatly and if she was the one he had chosen to be closest to, you would need to try and get along with her.

This was a difficult chore, especially since you found difficulty in being kind and likable while also trying to be yourself. Light and L would immediately be able to tell if you were playing a character, putting pressure on you to act on your actual feelings. This wasn't something you liked to do, mainly because all of your life you had kept a lot repressed in order to appease others. So even whilst being yourself, you still weren't.

Finishing up on everything you wanted to do today, you glanced at the clock and saw that it was getting quite late. Misa sat in the chair beside you, a gossip magazine in hand. It was about time to leave the others and head off alone with Misa.

It would be your first time ever being alone with her, the idea of it making you uncomfortable. You didn't feel like she would do anything upsetting, it was more like you hoped you wouldn't do anything strange to her. You were an odd person, you knew that and wanted to try and act as tolerable as possible. But you weren't sure if you would be able to after being forced into such an awkward situation. You were literally attached to this girl, there was no way of escaping now.

"Let's go," you mumbled, just loud enough for her to hear. Standing from your chair, the blonde was quick to get up and follow you as you walked a short distance. Before leaving, she made sure to stop by Light to give him a good night kiss. They lingered in each other's presence for a moment before pulling back, looking like they didn't want to leave each other's side. Watching them was almost addicting, confusing you as to why you couldn't help but stare. Turning your face to look away, you were met with the dark eyes of L, the detective catching you. Not wanting to be confronted, you gently tugged at the handcuff chain to bring Misa back to you.

"Good night," Light called, waving to the pair of you. Not wanting to be rude, you offered a small wave before entering the elevator with Misa. Both the elevator ride and walk along the hallway to your room were silent, neither of you daring to speak a word. You weren't sure what to say, not being a fan of small talk nor people you were unfamiliar with. And now you were handcuffed to one, putting you in a situation which was not desirable.

Beginning to get ready for bed, you were confident that you would be able to fall asleep since someone else was in the room but then again you were unsure. You had never tried to sleep in a room with someone you were unfamiliar with, making you feel anxious that you would be basically tied down to the bed for the whole night, unable to fall asleep.

Once you were both dressed accordingly, you both got under the covers of the double bed. Closing your eyes, you didn't bother saying anything, yet you could feel the blonde staring at you in the dark. You had noticed it earlier, but Misa seemed to pout for a majority of the time you had spent alone together.

"Do you not like me?" she asked in a hushed tone. Hearing that didn't surprise you, especially since you were very aware of the way you were treating her. Heaving a sigh, you opened your eyes to stare up at the dark ceiling.

"It's not like that, I'm just not good with talking to others," you admitted. You'd like to say that you were quite comfortable with speaking to other people, the problem was the way you came across. When you weren't playing a character and tried to act like yourself, you could come off as blunt and rude.

"Why don't you try and pretend to be a character like at that party, then I'm sure a lot more people will like you. You were really good at talking to people back there, (Y/n)-chan," she expressed, seeming proud of herself with the solution she had come up with. Rolling over so your back facedher, she could already tell that her words had affected you in some way.

"In the beginning, I loved becoming different characters, it was really fun and allowed me to blend in with society like any other normal person. But it was hard not to compare how I was treated when I was a character and then when I was being myself, it was just another reminder of how I didn't fit in anywhere. Everyone treats me like I'm some kind of weirdo," you grumbled, not liking the topic that was brought up. You were surprised to hear the blonde giggling behind her, Misa's arms wrapping around your body to embrace you.

"There's nothing wrong with being a bit weird. I mean, we were talking together before and I didn't think you were weird at all, what I noticed most was that you seem to reserve a lot of your emotions. Do you ever feel the urge to laugh or smile?" she asked, her forehead pressed against your back.

Thinking over her words, you knew that she was right. You often felt that way, especially when you were hanging around people you liked. Kerrick always had this effect on you, the same for Light and Sayu. Mr and Mrs Yagami did too, especially when they made you feel welcome and at home, like a real part of their family. But there was also L, someone who was just as strange as you, a new person to evoke these urges. It felt good being around them, making you want to stick around them longer in hopes of bettering yourself. And that's why you hung around them and tried to keep them close to yourself, you were happy with the fact that all of these people could remain in the rest of you life with the exception of one. After this Kira investigation was over, L would no longer be a part of your life.

"Yeah," you whispered, answering her question.

"Great," she giggled, "You should really smile and laugh more often if you want people to like you. If you act all gloomy and emotionless all the time then you're never going to attract anyone."

"So, will you give it a try tomorrow?" Misa asked, her grip on your body tightening, making it obvious how invested she was in this. You hesitated before answering, thinking it over in your head. You had these urges a lot more often than usual and found it difficult to act on them, but if these urges evoke such positive things then there wouldn't be any harm in acting on them. Feeling one of those very same urges, you couldn't help but give in and let your lips curl up into a smile.

"Sure, I'll give it a try."

I feel like there would be a big personality clash between (Y/n) and Misa, so I really needed to find a way to get them to be friendlier with each other. I liked the idea of (Y/n) wanting to get along with Misa yet feeling worried that she would mess up, I feel like (Y/n) is a very insecure person but is able to hide it very well.