UNSTEADY ➢ spencer reid

EVERYTHING I WANTED

Spencer and Derek arrived at the house just after one. Up until that point I sat at the table working away. It was hard to focus, knowing that in just a few hours Spencer would be home, but I got through it okay. I chipped away at it slowly with little breaks in between to try and calm my anxiety. I was ready to see him again, but it still made me nervous knowing the deal we'd struck up. I'd stay with him for a while, but in that while so many things could happen and I wasn't quite sure if I was ready for it or not.

All morning I thought about us and what we were exactly. I knew he liked me, that information was apparent, but I couldn't help but feel like he could do better. Deep down I was struggling. With the rehabilitation thing still being so fresh and now the Jason situation I felt like I was only causing him problems.

A pair of knuckles rapped against the door. I felt my heart skip a beat as I stood up from the table and walked towards it. I went to unlock it, holding the knob for a couple of seconds as I took some deep breaths. After I turned the lock, I pulled the door open, my gaze meeting Spencer's. I smiled. All the negative thoughts and insecurities I had went away immediately.

"Hi." I said, backing up.

"Hey." He responded.

Him and Derek walked in. Derek threw a bag on the floor by the couch and lingered for a couple of seconds before looking between us. "I'll let you guys talk, uh, Reid if you need anything just call, okay?"

Spencer nodded and together we watched Derek give us a little wave and leave the apartment.

"How are you doing?" I asked.

"Alright," he walked over to the couch and sat down, letting out a couple of strained breaths "Sore and tired, but I'll be alright."

"Do you need anything? I have coffee." I scurried over to the kitchen.

"Sure." He nodded.

I poured him and cup and set it on the coffee table in front of him before sitting down next to him. "Thank-you, Spencer, for everything." I gave him a small smile.

"No problem." He smiled back.

"Seriously though I-" I opened my mouth to say something more, but instead I just sat there, unsure of how to express myself. He deserved so much more than I gave him credit for. He saved my life, whether he knew it or not. Jason could've killed me and not only that, but if he hadn't influenced me so much in such a short amount of time I could've killed myself.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, eyebrow raised.

I guess I'd been sitting there for a while, staring silently. I swallowed hard, looking in his direction. I scanned his face, which despite the hint of concern, still seemed sincere. "I like you. A lot," I took a deep breath, "and I know you like me too and I know I'm a major fuck up, but I think we're good together." I watched his face turn into a look of surprise. "I think you're amazing and smart and caring and I want you to know that whatever happens between us is fine, because I don't want to leave."

He adjusted himself in his seat, clearing his throat.

"I just thought I'd let you know, uh, since you nearly died and all." I finished awkwardly.

Without hesitation he inched closer. I felt my heart beat quicken, watching as he reached out towards me. He rested his hand on the back of my neck. He pulled me in, pressing his lips against mine. They were soft as they brushed against mine, his tongue snuck its way between my lips. The whole thing felt innocent and sweet, but was short lived. He pulled away, still breathing heavily. "I like you too, Lor."

I held back a smile. "So, uh does this mean we're..." I pointed to both of us, eyebrow raised curiously.

He coughed, nodding his head. "I mean, if you want it to be."

"Yes please."

Spencer laughed, his hand still resting on the back of my neck. He brought it towards my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb as he pecked my lips a couple of times.

At that moment it felt like everything had somehow fallen into place. After all the hurt and struggle over the last few months I'd finally gotten my moment of bliss. I felt normal again. I had my job, a somewhat stable mind, and now him. Nothing else mattered now.