Reconsider [XMEN AU]

N i n e

        Logan and Dalisay settled into an awkward yet enduring silence before the brusque man decided to clear his throat. His long stride came to a halt, and they paused near the doorway to the parlor. 

        "Why're you so..." He paused, shaking his head, unable to find the words to complete his thought. "Never mind." Logan said shortly, starting to walk again.

        "No. Finish." Dalisay ordered, grabbing his arm. She stayed, solid, in place, rigid in her stance and attitude. "Why am I so what?" Her eyes searched his for something; compassion, care, curiosity, she did not know. "So angry?"

        "Yeah. Why're you so goddamn angry? You act like the whole world is against you." Logan agreed, his lips set into a grim frown. 

        "How would you know what I act like? We just met." She retorted smoothly, trying to avoid the question. It wasn't like she owed him anything. They didn't know each other at all, and frankly, Dalisay wasn't in the mood for strangers right now, especially nosy ones. "Why do you think you know me, and can just judge me instantaneously?" 

        "I'm not..." The man shook his head, and shut his mouth. "You're just...bitter. And I know bitter, I am bitter. But you're young, and I guess what I'm tryin' to say is...I want to know why. I mean, it's none of my business but..."

        Dalisay merely shrugged, unsure how to reply. What could she say? She didn't feel the need to tell him every little shitty thing that had happened to her, but she couldn't just say nothing. The man would guilt her into it, she already knew. "I've been through..." How could she explain it? "Some crazy stuff, some things I'd be happy to forget. But they're lodged in my brain, and they'll never leave. So...I'm stuck with ugly memories and faint glimpses of a future I would rather not face. But I will." Her voice grows softer as she continues, and she can't find the strength to look Logan in the eye anymore. "I've done a lot of bad things, and I know more about human nature than people think I do. So I guess...knowing what I know, it's kinda hard to have a positive outlook on life." 

        Logan laughed; a cold, hard laugh, and shook his head at the girl. "I'm bitter because I don't know. I have no goddamn clue who I am; Who my family is, where I came from. All I know is some scientist did something to me and now I have metal claws that shoot out of my knuckles and a shitload of people dead because of it, and a whole lot more who are scared of me." He let out an empty sigh, and continued walking, his pace slow so that Dalisay could catch up with him. "And now they want me to let the Professor get inside my head and figure out what happened to me, but I don't want to know how many people I killed back then, if I loved a girl or not...if I had a family. The only thing that'll do is..." Logan's words trailed off, and he clamped his mouth shut, tightly. Dalisay figured he'd thought he'd spoken enough for one night.

        "It'll only hurt you more." Dalisay finished for him, giving him a small nod of her head. "I get it." She grew quiet, her heart-wrenching at the thought of her father. Dalisay had shoved any thoughts of him into the darkest recesses of her mind, but he'd resurfaced. The image of him, leaning against a wall in a dank, decrepit warehouse with a needle shoved into his arm made her stomach clench into a knot. Where was he know? Cradling some new medicinal potion, slumped against a lab table? Dalisay had to admit she wasn't close to her father; after countless attempts at a normal father-daughter relationship, she had given up. Now, she realized that cutting off the only tie she had was detrimental to herself...would she be less selfish if she felt the need to care for her father? Dalisay knew she'd always think of her parents; she loved her father as one loves a mutilated childhood pet, but her mother...what love could she find stored up in the deep chasm of her heart for her, the woman who'd abandoned and then later returned to attempt to assassinate her?  

        "We better get something to eat." Logan grunted after Dalisay's silence had supposedly grown unbearable. She stared up at him, unable for any words to escape from her lips, and merely nodded. Her words were caught in her throat, and she had no idea how to set them free. Instead, she felt herself mutter a bleak, "Yeah." Dalisay walked with Logan through the silent halls, and decided to keep her mouth clamped shut from then on.

        She was getting soft, and she knew it. She'd only been here for a day, and Dalisay had felt the cage that had entrapped her heart's doors slowly ease open. No. No. No. She needed to shut it right back up and lock it with a key, but it seemed as if someone...this place, even, and taken the key from her. Dalisay was unable to stop it...but even if she could return her heart to it's previously unbreakable state, would she want to?

        The two entered the quickly-filling dining hall, and Dalisay noticed Logan's head turn slightly; He was looking for someone...who, Dalisay didn't know. Finally, he seemed to find who he'd been searching for, and Logan nodded his head. Dalisay attempted to follow his line of sight and realized he'd been looking for Ms. Munroe.

        Had she sent him to fetch her?

        She probably had, with the motherly nature the woman seemed to radiate. Logan motioned for Dalisay to follow him, and led her through the maze of tables, to where Ororo and the man with the sunglasses sat...Scott, Dalisay thought his name had been. 

        "Brought your pup." Logan stated thickly, crossing his meaty arms at his chest.

        "She's...not my pup, but thank you, Logan." Ororo answered tightly, giving Dalisay an almost-sheepish smile, however the woman did not seem the least bit sorry. "I wanted to make sure you didn't get lost, Dalisay. I hope Logan was a...helpful escort?"

        "That my new title now that you and the Professor are mad at me?" The gruff man quipped, raising his eyebrows. 

        "I'm not mad at you." Ororo replied, her voice growing softer as she continued. "I just want what's best for you."

        "And you of all people know what's best for me?"

        "Logan..." The woman before Dalisay took in a deep, needed breath of air, seemingly composing herself instantly. "We can talk about this later." Her words were sharp and quick to the point, and Ororo's eyes quickly left Logan's. He was dismissed, or so it seemed to Dalisay.  He let out a frustrated grunt, and walked past the table, not looking back. Ororo, however, turned to watch him go. Turning back around, she shook her head sorrowfully. "He doesn't realize the friends he has here...and all the people that care about him. Because...the last time he cared, she left." Her words had become whispers, and Dalisay was unsure whether Ororo realized who she was speaking to. Ms. Munroe brushed a stray lock of white hair from her eyes, and forced herself to smile at the girl before her. "I'm truly sorry about this Dalisay." She let out an empty laugh, and motioned for Dalisay to sit beside her. "Now, about your schedule..."