My imaginary boyfriend

9 : Two personalities

Chapter 9 : Two personalities

"Phai"

I was startled because of this call. Right when I looked up from the piles of documents that I was studying, I found the face of Sun. He was smiling at me and giving me his playful eyes.

"You're reading the same page for almost three minutes, I think."

"When I don't really get what it's about, I re-read the page. Haven't you done the same thing?" Well, that was just an excuse. In fact, it was not because I didn't get it but because my mind was elsewhere.

"You seem a little bit weird lately." He sat on the seat in front of me without asking for my permission. Normally the faculty of medicine's library is always quiet. Most of the med students choose some café as their place of study rather than the library. Besides, we don't need to borrow books nowadays. Everything can be found online. Therefore, the library was like my deserted island for me to isolate myself from the world to study quietly or just sitting and relaxing during lunch break when I had some spare time. It had always been my sanctuary, well, until Sun had stopped by to chat with me.

"How so?" I asked but my eyes returned to the page.

"You seem like... you're happy." He said,

"So I'm happy and that's... weird?" I laughed and shook my head at the same time.

"Well, you also seem like you have a lot of things in your mind. That makes it weird. It seems like you're happy but at the same time you doubt your happiness or something like that."

I looked up from the page. He smiled wryly.

"Oh gosh! Even psychiatrists don't learn how to read facial expressions. Are you kidding me?"

"I wonder..." He still didn't let me study in peace.

"What's now? Is it about the nerve again?"

"No, I wonder who makes you so happy yet doubtful at the same time." He whistled right after he said that and that made me abandon the page and took a look at him. He covered up with a wry smile with some whistle as if he was in a good mood. However, I know that 30 percent of his facial expressions revealed a mix of sadness and hopelessness. It was like a smile of a loser who knows so well that the game is already out of his league.

"I'm just... envious of that guy." he shrugged. "I might be dumb but not that stupid. I kinda know that you already have someone. I just feel the envy that he could make you so happy." Then he looked away. "Even though he makes you feel doubtful at the same time. I mean, he can also make you frustrated. Happy but frustrated. Well, All I could do was just annoy and tempt you to chase me away."

He sighed at the end of his sentence. A loud sigh.

"I've lost to him -- completely."

"You think too much." Then, I tried to laugh it off. Anway, he argued.

"Don't you see that it was so clear. If you'd had nobody, you would have been my boyfriend long ago. I know that I'm so handsome and charming." Even if he didn't put it in a funny way, I recognise that he was kidding. Who on earth would be such a narcissist?

I reached out to squeeze his nose and he cried with pain.

"What a brat!" I laughed.

"Ouch! That hurts!" He held my wrist.

Then our glances met and time seemed to have slowed down a bit as if the space of time within the library had stopped.

"Uhh..." That was all I could say.