SCENE 1: BUS STOP
(Scene opens with a hair bow floating through the sky. It lands at the feet of OLD MILDRED eating a bag of goldfish, who is sitting on a bench next to MURDOCK. OLD MILDRED picks up the hair bow and smiles at it)
OLD MILDRED- (Sighs) I used to have a hairbow just like this when I was a little girl.
MURDOCK- Hm. Waiting for the bus too?
OLD MILDRED- Yeah. I'm taking it to my nephew Byron's house. He's throwing a family reunion.
MURDOCK- Oh, that's sweet. Well, it's nice to meet you. What's your name?
OLD MILDRED- I'm Mildred. Mildred Bigsby.
MURDOCK- Well, hi, Mildred. I'm Murdock.
OLD MILDRED- (Looks at bag of goldfish)- My momma always told me life was like a bag of goldfish. You're happy and smiling until somebody bigger and hungrier comes along and eats you.
MURDOCK- Well, that's some handy advice. Tell me more about your mother. How was she?
OLD MILDRED- Well, she was a smart woman. Strong. Powerful. She was the glue that held our family together. Until... oh, never mind. You wouldn't like to hear about it anyway.
MURDOCK- Hear about what?
OLD MILDRED- My childhood. It was quite an adventure. But I don't want to take up your time.
MURDOCK- Well, there's nothing else for us to do. You can tell me.
OLD MILDRED- Well, I guess I can tell you. It all started a long way back, when I was only seven years of age on a regular day in the Bigsby household...
SCENE 2- MILDRED'S HOUSE
(A song plays in the background while you see MILDRED getting ready for the day. When she finishes, she walks out to the living room of her house, where MOTHER, FATHER and BROTHER are sitting at the living room table.)
OLD MILDRED (NARRATOR)- I was a young, healthy girl, around the age of seven. I loved my family more than anything else in the world. And they loved me just as much.
MILDRED- Good morning, family!
MOTHER- Mildred, ya brat, go fetch me a cup of coffee.
MILDRED- Of course, mother! Right away!
MOTHER- Hey! I don't like that attitude, missy! Go to your room!
MILDRED- But, mother, what about-
MOTHER- George!
FATHER- (Not taking his eyes off of newspaper) Mildred, listen to your mother.
MILDRED- Okay, father!
MOTHER- Wait! Now, don't go thinking your off the hook, Mildred! I still need that cup of joe!
MILDRED- I thought you wanted me to go to my-
MOTHER- Mildred, if you don't shut your mouth, I swear, I'll-
MILDRED- Okay! I'll make your coffee, mom!
MOTHER- My god! The brats we raised!
BROTHER- What are you reading about, pop?
FATHER- This Dastardly World War 1 and a Half! It's tearing our country apart. I can't believe how much one simple planetary onslaught can make some people so cruel!
(Knock at door)
BROTHER- Who could that be?
MOTHER- Probably the Landlord again. Everybody, you know the procedure. Hands on your heads, under the table, Mildred, get the door.
YOU ARE READING
Once Upon a Mildred
HumorMildred has had a hard life. Death, war, and sharks have torn apart her family, leaving her alone in an orphanage. But when she finds out that her father might still be alive, she sets out on an adventure that will change her life forever.
