A Dance of Life

5

The first day at the self-defense class had unlocked something in me, even though I didn't actually take part in the lessons, and come Monday I was floating through my dance routine.

Fellowship is important; no one should ever feel alone.

I push the still voice down and go through the moves one more time. I'm not as nervous about the audition as before, and as I let the music move through me, I can almost forget the events of that night. Almost.

"Bravo!" Ms. Bernard says from the piano.

"I couldn't have done it without you, Ms. Bernard," I beam at her as I cutesy.

"You can say that again," she laughs, "Now go home. I want you to get the rest that you need, so I don't want to see your face until Saturday."

I look at the time as I leave the studio, and it's some minutes past one. I decided that I don't want to work at the diner anymore, going back to that place could throw me down a dark hole, and there's no need to take that chance.

Job hunting it is then.

***

"I'm going back to school," I say to Patricia when she walks in almost two hours later.

These days, if she's not holed up in her room, she's out of the house. I know she's angry, but as far as I'm concerned, not telling her what happened is my way of taking care of her. I'm determined to get us back on track though, even if that involves bringing up random things.

"Excuse me?" She replies. I can't tell if she means it in a 'why are you talking to me' way or a 'what do you mean' way. I hope it's the latter.

"I'm going to enroll in online classes and get another degree; a dance degree can only get me so far. What do you think?"

"But you have a job. How are you going to balance your ballet, your classes, and your job? Plus I thought you loved ballet, why would you want to do something else?" She asks seating on the arm of the couch.

Stage one complete: subject is engaged.

"I do, but I'm thinking long term; I can't dance forever. And about the job... I'm actually planning on quitting," I tell her, "I can't go back there, Pat."

She shakes her head and scoffs, "Why am I not surprised?"

"You don't understand. I –"

"Look, Annelise, I know what you're trying to do, and it's not going to work. I don't even know why you're telling me, you've clearly made up your mind, and I already know my opinion isn't important to you." I try to explain myself but she raises her palm between us. "Don't. Don't say anything. I'm coming to your auditions on Saturday because I promised I would, but that would change if you continue to piss me off."

I can only stare after her in shock as she enters the bedroom and slams the door in my face.

I definitely deserved that. Mission failed.

***

I'm scrolling through articles trying to figure out what degree I should get. I've taken 3 quizzes and they all gave me different results. Who knew finding a new passion would be so hard.

Pat comes out of the bedroom some hours later with an overnight bag. "I'm going to stay with Bella till Saturday."

My eyes widen in fear, and I jump up from the couch. "Please don't do that," I beg her, 'I can't stay here alone' is the part I don't say out loud.

"Are you going to tell me why you came home with bruises?" She stands with her hands on her hips and her knees apart; she's ready for a fight.

"Patricia..."