A Dance of Life

45

I'm looking through my purse and rushing out of the court after I testify for Mrs. Williams, not able to stay there a moment longer when I bump into someone. I almost fall backward but arms catch me before I do, setting me upright.

"What the heck, Annelise, you could have fallen down," Nathan scolds, his hands still on my arms. "Where are you running to?"

I inch out of his grip and take a step away from him. I ignore the look of hurt and wrap my arms around myself. "I just needed to get out of here," I mutter, biting my lip.

He sighs, clenching and unclenching his fists before leaning on the wall by the court building door. A few passerby's give us odd looks as the exit but I'm not in the mood to think about them.

"We're all sorry we couldn't be here today, you know? It's just-"

"Other occupations, I get it," I shrug, not meeting his steady gaze. "It's fine."

"No, it's not," he shakes his head. "I'm quitting anyway, right? I should have been here."

I ignore him and stare at the bright busy street outside, the massive door slowly closing from its last disturbance. Nathan doesn't stay anything and I don't want to be the first person to talk, so I let my mind drift, imagining what my future would be like.

"Annelise," his voice floats to me, distracting my daydreaming.

"What?" I snap without any bite.

"I know what's wrong with you and it's okay. You can take all the time you need to with me, but we can't stand in this hallway forever. You could even seat in the backseat while I drive you back to your dad's place..."

He stops and I sneak a look at him. His shoulders are sagging and he's staring at his hands as if hoping to find answers in them. He looks up and catches my eyes but I don't bother looking away. I examine them, wondering why he's doing all this.

I really don't get what you see in me, Nathan.

He sees you as I see you.

"Okay, let's go," I say under my breath, motioning for him to lead the way.

Should I stay in the front or the back?

I wait for an answer as we're walking to the car, searching every space of my heart and mind. I imagine both scenarios but each one has its own issue.

"Annelise?" He's holding open the door to the back seat and I sigh, still not knowing what to do.

Compromise.

"No, that's okay. I'll ride shotgun." I ignore his confused expression as I open the door for myself and plant myself in the seat, pulling at the seatbelt until it's long enough to cover me.

He's silent as he enters the car, the only sound the engine as he starts it up, followed by the blast of the air conditioning. I shift one of the vents to blow directly on my face, cooling me from the July heat.

"Look, Nathan, I just..." I adjust my legs, trying to get comfortable. I miss the times where I could raise my legs to my chest. "I need to deal with all this mess inside me. Funny enough, I'm not even angry, I'm scared... and sad I guess."

"I've been reading up on this situation, so as much as I understood, I'm understanding better," he replies. "Having to retell what happened over and over, paired with actually seeing him... it can't be easy."

"It's not."

"Yeah, well... we may have a romantic relationship, but I don't want you to forget that we're friends as well, and you can talk to me about whatever. I'm still one of your best friends, right?"