Detaching One's Heart

Prologue

"It's been a long time, how are you?" I said as I was staring at him.

"I hope you're happy, and don't worry about me, I'm miserable as hell but I still breathe." I have so many thoughts in my head. I have so many things to say.

"How could you not tell me about everything?" And yes he's still not answering me. Does he even care about me?

"Didn't you think we just wasted time?" My tears started to fall, I wanted answers, I wanted comfort, from him at least.

"Can you please answer me?" my voice broke. I just wanted to know the answers to my questions. I wanted him to explain everything that happened.

"Why did you leave me like that? Why do you have to hurt me like this?" I looked like I was going to die from crying.

"I just wanted to be with you until the end. But why am I left alone in this world?" I looked so dumb, crying my heart out, kneeling in front of his tomb. He's really dead. It's been five months.

Five months. Limang buwan akong hindi matahimik. Nagdudusa ako mag-isa sa mundong ang binibigay sakin ay puro hamon. Kailan naman yung oras na hindi ko kailangan isipin na palagi na lang akong binabagyo ng problema? At bakit kailangan mawalan ako ng kasamang harapin ang bawat problema?

When he died I felt like my soul died too. How can my heart ever accept that? That I can never see him again, I can never see him smile again, I can never hear him laugh, I can never feel his arms that yearns for me. Funny how the world works. One day you're happy, and one day you just hate being alive.

How can I ever find the comfort I need when he's already dead? How do you detach one's heart when your heart is already buried with the person you love?

I felt so dizzy. I'm so messed up. I really can't lose myself more. And when I tried to stand it felt like a lightning struck my head and I suddenly fell on the grass.

I woke up at a dark room, I can't see anything, I just feel like my head's still turning. What's happening? Who took me here?

Then the lights were on, my sight was getting clear, until my eyes focused on the man who turned the lights on.
It's him. The man I was grieving from, the man I love, who is already dead. Am I dreaming? Am I dead? If this is a dream, please I don't wanna wake up. He's gone and I don't think I have anything to do in this world.