Anger Issues

THIRTEEN

I woke up with a searing pain in my head," shit..". I looked around and seen that some of my things placed somewhat back in the same place. I tried to get out of bed and used my hands as support, but noticed they were bandaged... also my bedsheets were missing.

"You know, I probably would've done the same ting' like you," Alix said sitting on a bean bag chair in the corner of my room." I don't blame you at all."

"Where is he?" I asked him, then looked for my phone.

"He's dealing with his 'kids' I guess." He replied using his hands for quotations." and if you lookin' for ya phone... here it is" he threw it on my pillow getting up." the screen is shattered and unresponsive."

I laid back and sighed" fuck man..." what am I gonna use now? I can't spend money on a new phone right now, and I already had the eleven plus. I thought the screen supposed to be stronger than the rest though? I sucked my teeth." I didn't mean to break it."

"Well, if you think that's bad, you should've seen your bathroom," he walked over to me and sat on the bed showing me how my room was before it was cleaned up...well sightly cleaned.

It was a total mess, I felt water forming over my eyes and clenched my jaws. All of this wasn't even called for. But I'm glad that it was my things instead of his, because had it been his I would have been spending at least half to twice the amount of my phone's price.

I got up and took my shirt off," I'm gonna go shower, give me a minute." Alix replied "okay then" and walked out of the room.

I went to my shower and thought about my stupid fucking actions. I put my hands on Khyle and caused myself hundreds in damage to my own shit. On top of that, even though Alix said he doesn't judge me I know deep down he's upset that I relapsed and lashed out.

I have to fix this, I have to right now.

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After I was done with my long-ass shower, I pulled on my robe and went downstairs. Alix must've been in his room because I couldn't find him anywhere. I didn't know what to do now that I don't have a phone, and it's so funny since I hardly use it but now I'm regretting it.

I sighed and sat on the sofa and turned on the TV to Netflix, and put on Spongebob. They were old reruns but I still enjoyed them.

"you smoking?" I looked back towards the kitchen to see Monraux and Alix walking in. Alix looked down avoiding my gaze and I shook my head "Nah... I got mines right here."

I'm actually surprised he had the balls to come here still. Alix proceeded to walk up the stairs but I called out to him. " aye Alix, look er' for a minute."

"-no," I looked over to Monraux, then raised my left brow at him." wait... give us a minute, please. he said looking at me." I mean I just want to chop it up with ya real quick." Alix looked at me as if he's asking' is it okay?'

I nodded my head and he continued upstairs," when you ready I'll be in my room." he continued up the stairs and I looked towards Monraux.

"Look man, I know you still think I'm fucked up, but you gotta know it wasn't like that." He sparked up his blunt and inhaled deeply. I did the same.

"You see when you guys came back here I was happy as shit, because I know me and your brother had like a little thing going on before ya'll left. So I got to thinking, shit I'm finally gonna get my chance and make him mines." he smiled.

I nodded my head, waiting for him to finish." So when we went upstairs I tried to do just that. We were having a light conversation, drinking some alcohol and smoking n' shit, then one thing led to another..." he replied then sat back.

I could tell this was the part I was waiting to hear.

"man... Alix started getting wild out of nowhere, he took off his clothes, and of course, I took off mine and I thought we were gonna do it. I admit that I knew he was high and drunk, but I swear to you I wasn't taking advantage of him." he looked in my eyes.

"I -uh, I ate his ass and-"

"niggaaa, I don't wanna know all that," I replied giving him a stank face. The fuck?

"I know man, but I'm just trying to tell you everything, it's important." He sparked up again then continued." So yeah, I was only gonna eat him out to make him cum then I was gonna bust with my hands because like I said, I knew he was kinda out of it. But when he bust he must've got to thinking other ideas because, after that, he decided to climb on top of me and began to suck me up. I'm not gon' lie and said I stopped him because I didn't. You gotta understand I really do feel love for him and I'm really attracted to him, so when he did that I got weak as fuck yo.

But I thought that was all he was gonna do but he changed positions as was gonna try to have sex, so that's when I stopped him." He shook his head." Every time I tried to stop him, he would push my hand away and asked me if I didn't love him. I told him of course I did, and every time I said I did, he would try to fuck again. I knew I wouldn't have been able to keep telling him 'no', so after the third time, so I got up and went to the bathroom and bust in the toilet. The rest you already know."

I took a final pull of my blunt and ashed it in the ashtray. Damn, so dude was cool people after all." Okay, sorry I thought otherwise, but I'm not sorry for what I did to you. That still my brother at the end of the day. He's the only person I'm living for and I bet you on anyting', he think the same way with me. So of course, when I saw him in that position you had to die. Again I'm sorry but not sorry." I told him being just being real, and he nodded his head.

"I respect that," he held his fist out for me to dap him up and I did." but you know that was cheap shot getting me from the back, right?" I laughed and he stood up, trying to size me up.

"Ma nigga we could go again, whenever you ready dred'." We both laughed and he said he's going upstairs.

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I was walking to the kitchen to get me something to drink when I heard our doorbell go off. I looked in our driveway and saw a red G-wagon." who the fuck is that..." I opened the door and saw Khyle, standing with a weed and roses bouquet in one hand, and a bag from Zales in the other.

"You gonna let me in?"