Mar's Review Store

Will-o'-Wisp

eunjoobak Your review by Ink_Paper09 is ready

Cover:

I liked the cover. I think it got the whole point of your story across in addition to getting the theme across too. I'm going to be honest, I don't normally go for these kinds of covers, but this one seemed to fit your story perfectly.

The two hands joined and the font of the title is really aesthetically pleasing, I have to say, and it draws me in. Based on this, I can imagine it drawing other readers in as well.

Going back to the part where I don't really go for these kinds of covers, I think even if it isn't my preference, it fits the story perfectly. I was thinking through this when I realized that covers like this actually help get the point of the story across.

So, I'm going to have to thank you for opening my mind to these kinds of covers.

Overall, I would rate the cover a 5/5. Good job!

Description:

I also really liked the description. You got the personalities of the characters across without making them seem too shallow. I know that many writers struggle with this because of the fact that they want to fit as many details as possible into the description.

This, I find, can lead to the reader starting to get or confused. You, however, were able to choose the most important parts of the characters and bring them to life in the description, making your readers want more.

Something that you could use to improve your description is:

Perhaps you could include Drav's point of view in this. After reading the story, I find that Drav's got his own past and his own story. I think it would draw readers in more if you incorporated what Drav feels and thinks into the description. Of course, it doesn't have to be long, just maybe three of four sentences.

Otherwise, I really liked the description. I would relate it a 3.5/5.

Content:

I have to say, I'm a fan. Your ability to describe the characters was really impressive. I also like the whole theme and what your book is about.

I mean, let's be honest, who doesn't love a little drama? It helps keep both the writer and the reader engaged. It's a hard thing to master because too much can be toxic and too little can be boring, but you seemed to add just enough.

The whole theme of your book was really captivating. The way CJ and Drav are around each other and the way they try to protect each other from their scars is really intriguing. It helps keep the readers engaged and keeps them turning the page.

In addition, I love the other stories of Moon and Mint and even Peridot. You were able to give each of them a personality without merging the characters together. You gave them each a life, something that writers don't seem to pay much attention to anymore. But you were able to and I've got to give you credit for that.

Some things that you could improve include:

I see that you sometimes need help when breaking paragraphs. For example:

"The text was ready. He had gone through it about fifty times by now. A loud sigh escaped his mouth. Papa, help me. He prayed to God, opening his father's chat. In two minutes, the message was sent and delivered."

This should actually be:

"The text was ready. He had gone through it about fifty times by now. A loud sigh escaped his mouth.