Mar's Review Store

Lost in Havoc

gurlcynical , your review by sky_is_limit is ready.

Sorry it took so long

Title/Cover/Blurb:

The title is original. I did a search on Wattpad and found nothing when I scrolled. That means the title is unique which is amazing. It also fits the story which the premise of a camping trip and events that will take place. Well done.

The cover is very nice in my opinion. It’s very simple, but I think it fits perfectly well for the story as a whole. The photo of a girl in a vehicle is a great choice for the theme of the story. Furthermore, it’s easy to see and read the title which is very nice.

The blurb could use some work. Some of the sentences are worded oddly like the verb-tense agreement wasn’t there. It made things a little awkward to read. But that’s the only fixing it needs. I feel the blurb as a whole is done well. It’s hooking and makes me want to read further.

Grammar:

So, I didn’t find much wrong with grammar and mechanics. Things were readable which was quite nice and I definitely understood. There are just a few things worth mentioning.

Dialogue isn’t done properly. It could use some brushing up. Speaking tags get commas, question marks, or exclamation points. No periods. After, pronouns should be lowercase. Action beats get periods, question marks, or exclamation points. No commas. After, the pronouns are capitalized. 

Next, there was some spacing issues that weren’t too noticeable, but noticeable enough. Finally, I felt some of the sentences may needed to be reworked. Things were just a bit choppy and could use some clarity. There were also a bit of typos from what I read. Maybe a quick proofread before publishing.

But overall, grammar was pretty well done.

Plot Development:

First, I want to start by saying that I think you do absolutely well with the description. I didn’t feel like anything was an info dump or like tings were being overly described. It was all good in my opinion.

Moving on, I liked the pace and flow of the story. I felt the build-up to her signing up for the trip was nice. It didn’t feel like the scenes were rushed or moved slowly. 

I think it may be the combination between, action, explanation, and dialogue that’s done well. But yes, the pace is nice. We got to see before the trip then leading up to it. Good job on that part. I truly think it was a good choice to make.

Character Development:

Honestly, I love the MC. I found her extremely funny and relatable. This is a bit morbid, but her father’s cause of death is very original also. Most of the time in stories, it’s cancer or a car accident.

Either way, I think Ellie is a character that’s easy to connect with. She also seems impulsive like most teenagers are which is captured very well. I can’t wait to see how she further develops. The interaction with other characters is just spot on.

Overall Enjoyment:

This is a story that I think a lot of people would enjoy. It has elements that represent a coming-of-age story which is pretty popular. Life lessons are things that will never go out of style. Furthermore, it’s humorous and seems very wholesome from what I’ve read.

My only advice is to think about what I said.

☆

XOXO
Sky