𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 • 𝐎𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐙

𝖝.

𝕵𝖔

𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖓𝖔𝖔𝖓

things were getting tense back at the house, I know Oscar was making James uncomfortable, I decided to drive around with James. We ended up at getting food before sitting at a random park, he was quiet while he ate his food.

I looked up at him but he quickly averted his eyes to look away from me, "you okay?" I asked as he looked back at me "yeah, I'm good" he nods, he was obviously lying "you sure?" I asked

"yeah— I'm fine jo—" he says giving me a smile, "ok" I say nodding. "so what are you going to do now? do you have place to sleep?" I asked, he sighed clearly agitated "can we not talk about this?!" he asked

"I knew it!— you're terrible at lying, what's wrong?" I asked, "nothing!" he says

"something is clearly wrong— or you wouldn't of snapped at me" I say, it became quiet again between us for moment until I spoke up again, "Was it Oscar?— did he say something to you?" I asked

"No" he says as he grabbed his empty bag where is food was in, he got up and threw it away and I got up and followed his actions and threw away my wrappers, I turned back to face him as he sits at the picnic table backwards

His head rested in his hands, "James?" I called him as I walked towards him, "Yes" he answered looking up at me as he pushed his hair out of his face, "what's going on—seriously?" I asked

He sighed before speaking up again, "yes— Oscar said something to me" he answered my previous question, I mentally rolled my eyes "what did he say?" I asked

"He— he said, that you would want to help me because you have a big heart— and I should know how it would end for you he also said that I'm a grown man and I should fight my own battles" he says

"damnit Oscar" I cursed, he stood up immediately "it's okay— he was right, I am a grown man and I should be fighting my own battles" he says

"James— you had no where to go!—" I started but he cut me off, "—but that doesn't excuse the fact I brought you into my mess, and that's not fair to you or to Oscar" he says

"James, I can help you" I say

"No— it would ignorant of me to accept that— I know my privilege is different than yours and— say we did make some genius plan,  and what if we got caught by the police, my consequences would be different from yours— I cannot allow anything to happen to you" he says

"What am I suppose to do then?" I asked, he gently put hands on my shoulders while looking into my eyes, " Nothing— absolutely nothing, I have to fight my own battles" he says softly

I looked down at my shoes, a little bit of a frown was on my face. James was there for me, and I know as my mentor/therapist that's his job to be, but only a few people entered my life and stayed, so I feel like I owe him

I was caught off guard when James all of sudden kisses me on my lips, I immediately pushed him away from me, "what the hell are you doing?!" I asked

"I'm sorry— I um— I thought—" he stuttered

"Well you obviously thought wrong! I can't believe you!— I told you my story and you go try to pull this!— you must think I was some type of putty in your hand!" I raised my voice at him

"No!— of course I don't think of you like that—I'm sorry— jo, something just came over me" he apologized but I shook my head, "the truth is— I can't get you out of my mind" he says

"I'm with Oscar" I say

"I know— I keep reminding myself every time I get lost in your eyes" he confessed

"Now What? You want me to pick between you and him?" I asked

He lowered his head as he look at the ground, "if the choice isn't obvious— I choose Oscar" I say getting ready to walk away but he stopped me "Wait" he says and I turned around to look at him

"You don't honestly think that— that you and Oscar could last?" He asked,

"I do" I cross my arms, he shake his head as he came closer to me, " Jo— you are beautiful, smart and strong why would wanna stay with someone like Oscar?— I can provide so much more for you, I can get you out of this neighborhood, I can get opportunities for school or a job. —Oscar will only bring you down" he says

"If I go down it would not be because of Oscar—he has brought me up— he reminded me everyday that I am beautiful, smart and strong— and yes, you probably can get me anything I desire— but that's not love— love isn't you get me gifts and in return I'll give you my heart" I say

"Love is feeling secure with someone, love is feeling safe with someone when the situation isn't good— and that's Oscar, I love him" I say with a smile as it was the first time I said love in the same sentence as Oscar, I imagine the first time I said it, it would be to Oscar but instead it's telling someone else that I love him

I turn around to walk away when James walked in front of me "let me at least drive you back home" he says, "no, I can walk" I say walking around him, he stopped me by grabbing my arm, I looked at him "don't touch me!" I say pushing his hand off of me

"Look— I'm sorry, I just—" he started before he was cut off, "is there a problem here?" someone asked, I turned my head to see Latrelle standing next to me "everything's fine latrelle" I say

"then he should leave" Latrelle says looking at James, "I just wanna drive her back home" james says,  "she's good— I'll walk wit her" Latrelle says, James looked at me before he look back at Latrelle he opened his mouth to protest but I stopped him.

"James— just leave!" I say, he sighed and giving me a look before getting in his car and driving away, I watch as he got farther away, I turned around and started walking with Latrelle.

"Who was that?" He asked, "nobody important" I answered

"I see other than that limp— yo leg healed up pretty good" he says, I smile as I nodded "yeah, I can't walk or run for too long but it's all good" I say

"that's good" he nodded, "so how are you?" I asked

"I'm good— I mean shit gets crazy— but I'm good" he says, "what about Justin?" I asked

"He changed— he's more strict, it's like he became malicious after that night" he says , " I actually wanted to apologize— maybe if I was little quicker— you wouldn't have gotten shot" he says

"It isn't your fault—you should never blame yourself" I say as we walked into a neighborhood

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✌🏾