My made up song

chapter 11

Shoto Pov

Alright, so maybe it wasn't my best idea to creep on Izuku in a dark alleyway. I mean, it was an honest mistake, really! It's not like I meant to freak him out, well I mean, maybe a little? Besides, it has been nearly a week. I'm sure he was probably over it by now.

I just wanted to know where we stood without actually talking to him. Apparently, we weren't on good terms, which was to be expected. I mean, when you beat someone within an inch of their life and abuse them in every possible way for a year, it's not really far fetched to say they'd be a tad uneasy in regards to your presence.

This wasn't exactly the reaction I wanted was the thing. And the fact that some... guy came to help him. I didn't appreciate the way he touched Izuku, either. Who the fuck was this guy, anyways?

I tried to shake the thoughts away. No, I'm not that person anymore. I can't just let jealousy turn me into something I'm not. Not again. I needed to focus.

My shoes scuffed against the pavement as I walked down the sidewalk. The air was cool, the blackness of night not helping to provide any warmth either. The cold soaked through my thin jacket, making its home in my bones. I huffed, watching as the breath visibly rolled out into the air in a small cloud of smoke.

I didn't want to be someone that Izuku was afraid of anymore. However I know that against my wishes, things like this don't just fade away. Not something as serious as trauma. I hurt him, severely. I was someone he trusted, someone he loved and I broke that. I shattered it completely without any sign of remorse.

I made him question everything he ever knew about the world, about people... about himself. It didn't go unnoticed that he was losing the best pieces of himself every single day. He faded into the ghost of a beautiful boy right before my eyes, replaced by a mess of bones and bruises and I could feel the sorrow, the despair, that he carried with him.

I felt it in a different way now then I did back then.

It angered me then, to see how he just wouldn't give up. He was strong, way stronger than me.. He never let grief and anger and self hatred consume him the way I did. I let the pain eat me alive from the inside out, feasting on the soul that rested within me. It completely destroyed every happy thing that rested within my wake.

It infuriated me that he wouldn't just accept defeat. But when he finally did...

I could physically see the snap. I saw the beautiful, happy soul of the Man I loved break and shatter into a thousand pieces. I wanted nothing more to beg on my knees, scoop the pieces into my shaking hands and offer them back to him. I wanted to mend what I broke. I needed to. I didn't meant to push him so far, he handled everything else so well.

I had to fix this and he wasn't giving me much room to work with. I wanted to catch him on his walk home from work, but he was always with uraraka or that stupid, blonde guy. I know neither would let me near him.. I needed an opening. I had to be patient.

I waited across the street from the small music store, just like I did every night. Izuku didn't seem to take many days off, which didn't surprise me. He loved music when we were together, he played something for me constantly. It warmed me to know that he never lost that passion, regardless of what's happened to him in his life. This is exactly the place I was able to picture him working while we were apart.

I watched carefully, leaning against the brick wall behind me. I blended with the shadows of the night, eyes scanning around. I checked the time on my phone, 10:25pm... weird.

Normally one of Izuku's friends would have been here to pick him up by now. I know they always arrive a bit before the shop closes, and the shop closes at 10. However I assume it takes time for Izuku to get everything together for the night. So he usually departs around 10:30, with whoever it is that's accompanying him home that night.