my little freckles

❦𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔❦

           *alexander pov*

Its finally spring break!! John wanted me to go on this trip to paris with him and i been dying to go to paris so of course i had to say yes!

I mean who wouldnt though?! I had my stuff packed like two days ago but i had to wait for john cause he was looking for his charger.

"did you find it yet?" i ask him and seemed pretty annoyed.

"yes im just getting some snacks for the plane ride!"

"well hurry up we need to be there in a hour!"

"dont worry my love im almost finished!" i heard a knock on the door so you know the nice person i am i decided to answer it. "Peggy?!"

" sorry im late."
Umm what is peggy doing here???? " OH, hey peggy you got your stuff packeted?"

"you know i do!" Honestly their friendship is very confusing. " wait you didn't tell me that peggy was coming too?"

" oh sorry i just couldnt go somewhere without my bestfriend!" And I thought me and John were gonna have some alone time for once since literally everyone is over our house for some reason.

"Okay! You guys ready?"
"ready as i'll ever be!"

I sound super sarcastic saying that cause now i didn't want to go since peggy was coming, not to be wrong peggy shes funny nice and like awesome but when it comes to be and johns relationship her and laf are our hugest fans.

We walk out the door and im not that happy anymore. "Hey lexi you okay?", "yea im great you know," i wish i could be telling the truth... "Alexander if your lying i wanna know whats wrong, you dont have to hide stuff from me" He was concerned cause I was just looking at my phone and not listening to what he and Peggy was saying

"WELL IM JUST MAD YOU DIDNT TELL ME PEGGY WAS COMING, NO HARD FEELINGS PEGGY BUT YOU CAN GET PRETTY ANNOYING!" dammit i snapped.

"listen im sorry she also really wanted to come to Paris and this is like a once and a life time to go there and she really wanted to go like super bad!"

"you know what forget it, sorry peggy!"

       *john pov*

I honestly dont understand that why alexander is mad at me! I mean he cant blame me he forgets or doesnt tell me things too! He just told me to forget about it, if he wants me to then i'll will. The actual reason why i brung peggy with us because i know that alexander is going to find out what i been doing to myself....

!!!SELF HARM WARNING!!!
I have been cutting myself for the past three weeks over this stress, i do lose blood but not that much, its just all this stress and i just thought it was the greatest way to deal with it...

it makes me so relax and its so soothing. But the only person who knows about it is peggy and i felt more comfortable if she went with us.

"Johnny when are you gonna tell him? You know he is gonna find out sooner than later,"
she whispers to me, she seemed so scared you never really see this side of peggy that much. "He is gonna probably find out by himself anyway..." ,

"Who is gonna find out about what?" at this point we were at the airport waiting for our flight, and it was just scary when he asked us that this is when i actually felt like that this is my last day alive. "Nothing,"

"Oh no it's something!"

"ALEXANDER NOT RIGHT NOW WE ARE IN PUBLIC!" you never really see me(you haven't seen this side of anyone here I guess) yell at someone only if they are really getting on my nerves, but its different with alex i never really got mad at him before, so it was new when i yelled at him.

"NO YOURE GONNA TELL ME AND I DONT CARE IF WE ARE IN PUBLIC! YOUR BEING ALL SECRETIVE FOR THE PAST WEEK! WHAT DO YOU NOT TRUST ME ANYMORE CAUSE YOU CAN JUST GO ON THE PLANE WITH PEGGY AND I CAN GO HOME!"

Lordy alexander yells a lot, if he yells at you, you should be scared if he does yell at you... he scared!

"WHY DO WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT NOW IM NOT COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT IT!" damn, he yanks me to the bathroom and locked the doors.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!" We didnt realize but all that yanking he did to my arm my sleeve went up ( now how does that make sense old me?)
so you could see all the scars and cuts on my arms... even the new ones...

"J-j-john..."

i tried to keep my tears in but it was so hard, "why did you do that to yourself?"

"im sorry, im sorry that i caused you so much pain, im sorry that i didnt tell you everything that was happening during my life, im sorry that you have to deal with me, im sorry that i exist, im sorry that i am the pain in life for you,"

you must think that i always take the blame but most of the time it wasn't me so i dont really take the blame but when it comes to Alexander's problems i take the blame cause they all happened ever since we started dating.

"John, no one is mad at you i just wanna know why did you do it?"

It was just awkward silence for at least four minutes

"I just did it because of stress i thought it was the best way to deal with it and it helped me a lot i mean it did hurt but it didnt hurt as much as i thought."

sorry i gotta end it here its getting a little long🤷🏻‍♀️
Word count;997