Exposed (Book Three) COMPLETE!

chapter twelve

Jensen

I woke up from a cold sweat, ripping the sheets from my body, being as quiet as I could so I didn't wake Harry. I sat on the edge of the bed, trying to catch my breath. My palms ran their way down my damp cheeks, trying to suppress the tears I knew were bound to come. I shrugged on Harry's button up that lay on the floor, walking out into the early morning air.

I leaned against the balcony, trying hard to just breathe, hoping it'd help patch up this giant hole left in my chest. I hated this day, more than any other date on the calendar. Today was the day that I let myself feel every ounce of pain I constantly tried so hard to keep behind closed corridors in my mind.

I felt the tears slipping down my cheeks and splash against the wood. My hand covered my mouth as I did my best to hold in my sobs. I felt myself slipping down to the ground, gathering Harry's shirt around my vulnerable body. My knees were brought to my chest and I just rocked back and forth, wanting nothing more than for it to be tomorrow, or the next day, or any day other than this one.

"J?" Harry's voice broke me from my destructing thoughts and yet I couldn't do anything but rock back and forth, shaking my head. He gathered me in his arms, lifting me over to the rocking chair. He placed me in his lap, stroking my hair as I sobbed. Loud and obnoxious sounds left my lips in screams and I couldn't do a thing to stop it.

Harry didn't say a word as he knew there was nothing he could say to stop this pain that coursed through every inch of my body. We rocked as he continued to hold me tight, running his fingers through my hair.

I sobbed until my eyes were dry and my voice was hoarse. I stared at the sun rising, trying to focus on the vibrant colors that painted the sky. I didn't know how to heal this hurt, I didn't know how to fill this hole in my heart.

"She'd yell at me for crying," I sniffles, half laughing, "Not for crying in general, we had crying sessions ourselves, but for crying because she was gone. She'd tell me that was no way to remember someone and that I needed to stop focusing on the hurt and see all the good memories that came from our twenty one years together."

"What's your favorite memory?" Harry kissed the top of my head after asking this and I smiled, knowing the exact memory that always managed to sneak a smile on my face.

"We went on a road trip to find the perfect prom dress my senior year. We woke up early that morning to leave and it was storming like crazy, and it was supposed to, all day. We almost called the trip off, saying we'd go the next weekend but I begged and pleaded with her to go. She eventually gave in and we sang the whole way there and back. We looked at every shop in town for the dress and we never did find it. But the whole day we laughed and sang and just didn't have a care in the world. We ended the trip with ice cream, which only made it ten times better." Harry pulled my closer when I sighed, "I wish she could have met you. She would have loved you, Harry."

"If she's anything like you, I know I would have loved her too." I shrugged, biting my cheek.

"I wish she was here, Harry. I know that no matter how many times I wish for it, it won't bring her back. I know she's here with me always, even if it's not physically, but I'd give anything to hug her one more time." I turned to look at Harry, seeing his green orbs full of concern. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling back to give him a quick peck.

"She'd be proud of you, J. I know that I didn't know her but I know that she would be proud." I nodded, hoping that he was right because making her proud is something I strive to do every day.

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     I'd spent the usual day with my family; going to the cemetery, visiting all her favorite places, and I even joined in for home movies this year. I stopped by the grocery store on my way home, wanting to grab a pint of ice cream for my heart ache.

     The store was mostly empty, seeing as it was 9:30pm and they closed at ten. I planned on getting in and out. As soon as I grabbed the ice cream, my phone rang, Harry's name popping up on my phone.

     "Hey babe." I said as I was walking to the check out.

     "Hey, love. Are you on your way home?" He asked and I could hear Piper speaking gibberish on the other end. I smiled, wanting nothing more than to hurry and get home to my baby.

     "Yup, I just stopped by the store to grab some ice cream-"

     "Jensen? Jensen Ames?" I stopped dead in my tracks and I could hear Harry trying to get my attention on the other end of the phone but I couldn't speak. My blood ran cold as I heard the voice of a person I hoped to never see again. The voice of someone who haunted my dreams. The voice of the person who broke me so many years ago.

     My phone and the ice cream fell to the ground with a clatter as I turned to see him. I instantly felt the churning in my gut and I wanted nothing more than to flee the scene. He was walking towards me now as I kept backing away, down the aisle.

     He was much thinner, and his hair was shaggy. This was nothing like the Ryan I knew back then. He seemed sadder and softer but even then, as his beady eyes landed on mine, I felt the urge to scream.

     "NO! NO! You stay the fuck away from me! You got it! Don't even think about coming near me, EVER AGAIN!" The few people left in the store were staring at us, eyes wide at the chaotic scene before them. I picked my phone off the floor as I charged out of the store and drove off in a haze.

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oh shit guysssss