She Penned my Dreams

Addicted

Spencer

Driving to work the morning after mine and Katie’s first time, I couldn’t seem to stop smiling. I’d woken up with a smile on my face. I kissed her goodbye with a smile on my face. Euphoria and elation are common side effects to multiple orgasms, however I’d never felt quite this happy. Maybe it was waking up with her that inspired this feeling in me. Maybe I was walking taller because she was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. Maybe I smiled broader because she seemed so genuinely happy to have been with me. Maybe I held my head higher because of how long it took us to say goodbye.

Whatever it was, I couldn’t shake the feeling. And it was amazing. But I knew if I couldn’t pull myself together, the team would call me out for it. The signs of recent sexual activity could be easily recognized, especially by my team. I had 10 minutes before pulling into the FBI headquarters parking lot. I had to think of something fast. But, what was the harm of spending a few more moments reveling in the memory of Katie’s skin on mine.

Walking into the BAU bull pen, I wore a carefully constructed ‘neutral’ face. I had made sure to remove any trace of Katie from my clothes, however due to a hickey I collected in the shower this morning, I had to forgo my usual shirt and sweater in favor of a cardigan and scarf. Surely, no one would wonder why I wore a scarf; I wore scarves sometimes, right?

I understood I was being paranoid, and reprimanded myself. If I didn’t get a handle on myself, I could risk losing Katie to the team. This, I also understood was paranoid and ridiculous, but it just seemed extremely important that I keep these two separate parts of my life completely separate. At least, I hoped I could count Katie as a part of my life. Katie was too good to be associated with all the evil I waded through every day, it felt nice thinking that after so much darkness, I could still have a bright, shining light to turn to.

Sitting down at my desk, my phone vibrated, and looking down I saw I had a text.

Katie- Last night was amazing. And so was this morning J When do u get off work?

I laughed to myself, remembering how surprised she was at how… satisfactory of a lover I was. This morning, she even said that I “just don’t make sense.” It’s a common reaction, all the women I’d ever had sex with thought the same thing, being that I am not exactly physically attractive. It made sense, thinking from a ‘skill is directly related to experience’ point of view. However, when studied, sexual intercourse can be fairly easy to excel at, once one isolates what works and what doesn’t for each specific partner.

            Spencer- Depends on whether we have a big case or not :/

I texted back, wishing more than anything I could tell her exactly when we could be together again. I haven’t had a lot of sex in my life, obviously, given my complete lack of skill with women. So it is not at all hard to say that Katie was by far the best lover I’ve ever had. And based on what she said laying in bed after our every first time, she didn’t even have to try, she was just naturally amazing. It takes a lot to make my brain slow down, or even stop completely. But Katie can do it merely by brushing her lips across my skin.

            I only noticed I was staring out into space, thinking of Katie, when Morgan snapped in front of my face.

            “Hey, you okay, kid? I’ve been talking to you,” Morgan said, sitting on the edge of my desk and studying me carefully. Quickly taking stock of my face, I found it was still blank, and that a smile hadn’t crept onto it from my Katie-musings. Good, that would’ve been harder to explain.

            “Sorry, I didn’t get much sleep last night. Headaches.” I replied shortly with a small apologetic smile.

            “They’re back?” Morgan asked, the concern on his face almost making me want to take it back.