She Penned my Dreams

Something to Hope in

Katie

I'd just gotten home when Spencer called me.

"Katie," He said. He never answered with "Hey" or "Hello" always just my name.

"Hey, baby, you home?" I asked, smiling, suddenly not at all as tired as I had been leaving Square Toes.

"Just about," He said, but his voice sounded different, somehow sadder.

"I'll be right over," I said quickly, already grabbing my bag.

"No, it's okay, I know it's early," He said, being a perfect boyfriend, as usual.

"I'm on my way, Spence," I said, cutting him off. He made a small, sad noise when I called him that. Something was definitely wrong. "Spence, is everything okay?"

"Yeah... No.... I just..... Katie," He muttered, sounding defeated and lost. I started to hurry, nearly running down the abandon street.

"I'll be there soon, Spence. I promise," I clicked the phone off, dropping it in my bag as the sound of my boots slapping against the sidewalk echoed of the sleeping buildings. I finally reached his building and quickly climbed the stairs. I raced to his door and knocked on it while trying to catch my breath.

"It's open," I heard Spencer call from inside. I pushed the door open and looked in. The dim lighting that used to feel so comfy and homey now felt sullen and depressed. Which matched seemed to match Spencer, as he sat in his chair, holding his face in his hands, his back curled and his shoulders slumped.

"Spencer," I breathed. He rolled his face to look at me, offering a sad smile that didn't reach his miserable eyes. I walked carefully to him, coming to sit on my knees in front of him. "Spence, what happened?" I asked, frightened. I'd never seen him like this.

"Bad case," He said simply, leaning back heavily in his chair, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked softly, reaching for his hand, holding it between mine.

"No," He said, shaking his head rapidly.

"What can I do?" I asked, feeling helpless.

"Can you just... come here?" he asked, weakly, opening his arms. I stood up slowly, taking off my boots before carefully climbing into his lap. I let my legs dangle over the arm of the chair and I leaned against the other arm. I pulled my arm up to the back of the chair by his head and ran my fingers repeatedly through his hair and started humming a song my mother used to sing to me, knowing that that had always calmed me down.

 He wrapped his arms around my and held me close. He buried his face in the curve of my neck, letting out a long, shuddering exhalation. I suppressed the shivers that threatened to run down my spine and my humming hitched as his cool breath brushed across the skin of my chest. I forced myself to keep my hand in his hair gentle and smooth as he pressed kisses into the skin of my neck. This wasn't for me, I could tell. For whatever reason, he needed this. And if all I could do was let him hold me, then I'd settle in. I breathed in his scent, and leaned my cheek against his shoulder.

I'd never been like this with a man before. I always tried to keep relationships fun and flirty. But right now, I could tell Spencer just needed serious and real. And I was really happy he'd called me. I'd missed him so much, I was so happy to have him back. We sat like that for a while, him kissing my neck and holding me close, me playing lightly with his hair, humming songs he probably didn't even know.

"Can you stay over?" he asked, his lips scraping across the tender new hickey he left where my neck met my shoulder.

"If you wanted me to," I said quietly. He nodded his head against me before straightening up. I climbed off his legs as gracefully as I could and took his hand as he stood up beside me. He led me to his bedroom where he sat on his bed, making no move to take off any of his clothes. I loosened his tie and pulled it over his head. He watched me, his face totally blank, void of any emotion, as I undid the buttons of his vest and then his shirt, pushing them both down over his shoulders. I dropped down to my knees in front of him, pulling off his Chuck Taylors and socks before undoing his belt. I ran my hands up his thighs and slipped my fingertips into the band of his boxers.