Panic attack ( shinkami story)

2 minute friends

- shinsou's POV-
I still can't believe I got my ass beat at the sports festival, at least I lost to Izuku. But that was my one chance, dad is trying all he can to get me into 1a but there's not much he can do, even if he's a hero.. I guess everyone else is just better than me.

Of course they are! I'm just hitoshi shinsou, the guy with the villainous quirk! The nobody! The useless freak who will never get to be a hero! the one who was abandoned! The boy who was...

I can feel tears start to dwell in my eyes as a walk, I feel my breathing getting heavy.. shit focus on walking, then I run into someone they give a "argh" as their head collides with my shoulder. " I-I'm sorry I should have been looking where I was going" I stutter there's a moment pause as they step back, I don't bother to look up. Too ashamed " it's okay, it's only me" it's denki, thank god. Denki saw me at the sports festival and then decided he would be my friend, no matter what I say. so we became friends, I can't talk to him much because he is actually lucky enough and good enough to be in 1a, I wish I was in one 1a... b-but atleast it's only denki I just ran into I couldn't see who it was with teary eyes " oh, hey denki. Sorry" "it's fine shinsou, wait are you crying?!" Shit he noticed " no I'm fine, just.. allergies" he didn't seem convince but it's the best excuse I got. " okay? Well I have to keep going to class, but I wanted to ask you something anyway. Could I have your phone number?" My phone number, why would he want that? " yeah sure, but why would you want my number?" I reply " well we don't get to talk much, only at times like this between classes, I want to talk for more than 2 minutes." "Yeah, it kinda sucks, here" I say as I give him my number. " thanks! Well I'll talk to you later, got to get to class" he responds with his usual happy smile before walking off, I suppose he doesn't want to get into trouble for being late.

I continue to walk, somehow that small interaction with Kami really cheered me up.. WAIT did I just call him kami? Ugh whatever, that's what he wanted me to call him anyway, I just don't know why he cheers me up so much, he makes me forget my problems almost instantly. He gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside, but I know I don't like him... he's probably straight anyway. I like momona, I don't know why but I just do. I know he's a bitch sometimes but he can be nice, when he wants to be.

The rest of the day moved pretty slowly, nothing out of the ordinary, the usual boring classes, the occasional villain slur. I getting better at drowning them out out, middle school was terrible I didn't know how to drown them out, I had to listen to every word and it got to me. Now it's different, only on few occasions does it get to me. Lately it's been pretty bad, only because I keep thinking out my mum, how s-she just left me with them.. the horrible things they done..

Shit no, I can feel my chest tightening, where am I? I open my eyes, I'm at my dorm, good. I look over at the clock and it's already 9:43 it only seems like school ended an hour ago. Oh well, I got up to look out on the balcony. The stars are so beautiful, Eir would love them, I don't stay at the dorms much.. I miss Eir and the cats too much. I wonder how much Eir would miss me if I was gone. No shinsou! Don't think like that! She wouldn't miss you! No one would! So why don't you just jump of this balcony, right now! No stop.. don't think that, make it stop! Go on shinsou, no ones going to miss you, the world will be a better place, you disappointment! No make it stop, the voices..they torment me! I need to be a hero!

I step closer to the edge the railing stopping me from jumping, would anyone miss me? Then I hear a ding from my phone. I walk back inside and sit on my bed. I pick up my phone and there was a message from an unknown number

Unknown number: hey, it's denki!

I change the number in my phone

Me: oh yeah denki
Denki👍: is this a bad time? Or can you talk?
Me: I can talk
Denki👍: ok cool, I wanted to ask, why were you crying?
Me: I told you, allergies
Denki👍: I'm not stupid Toshi, I know that's a lie

Toshi? Is that what he's calling me now. I guess it's only fair, since I call him kami.

Me: I'm not lying
Denki👍: I'm being serious
Me: ok fine that wasn't why I was crying, but I don't want to talk about it
Denki👍: why not
Me: because
Denki👍: you can trust me Toshi
Denki👍: hey stop ignoring me!
Denki👍: toshiiii
Denki👍: unless you want me to come over there, tell me
Me: fine!
Denki👍: good
Me: I was thinking about my past
Denki👍: explain?
Me: when my quirk came about my mother treated me horribly, she would tell me how much of a disappointment I was everyday until one day she left me at a train station to fend for myself. Two guys found me, I thought they were going to take me back home or give me a better life but they dragged me down an alleyway and.. let's just say they done some horrible things to me, after the alleyway they took me to some place and my memories there are a little fuzzy but it was a place where people bet and watch others fight, I was being sent into fights and betted on for what felt like years but was only a month or two. Pro hero's stormed the place right in the middle of one of my fights, it's lucky they showed otherwise I would have died in that fight, I was about to be crushed. One of the hero's saw me a saved me, after at the hero took me in and eventually I became his and his partners adoptive son.
Denki👍: Toshi.. I'm so sorry I shouldn't of asked, are you ok?
Me: yeah
Denki👍: I'm coming over there to make sure
Me: no, you don't need to
Denki👍: I don't care I'm on my way!
Me: Denki don't
Denki👍: fine but tell me you're ok
Me: I'm ok
Denki👍: I would never have guessed.. if it's ok to ask, who are the pro heroes?
Me: they probably don't want people at school to know..
Denki👍: oh ok, but it isn't Aizawa is it?
Me: wait what?! How did you guess
Denki👍: I knew it! Todoroki and I were right!
Me: uhh
Denki👍: sorry, it's just. Izuku thought we were wrong but we weren't
Me: ok? I'll talk to you tomorrow I guess?
Denki👍: yep! Goodnight toshi

Yeah.. goodnight kami

_______
I'm sorry this chapter is long but it's very important to the story
Word count: 1238