sing me a love song // liu yuxin/cai zhuoyi

i am happy and hurt

Yuxin flinches as the sudden shriek that her room mate had emitted. She couldn't blame her though, what she had told her was way too unexpected.

"No way! That's definitely fate!" her room mate said excitedly, grabbing Yuxin by the shoulders and shaking her vigorously. "You're sure you're not playing with me?"

Yuxin felt like her soul has now escaped her body as her room maye had shook her too much. "I wish I was," she sighs, looking at her phone with the selfie of her and Zhuoyi that she took before they parted ways earlier.

She sets the picture as Zhuoyi's contact photo in her phone and to convince herself that it was not a good idea to contact the girl at this time.

"But isn't that, like, a bit rude?" her room mate tilted her head a bit to the side, her lips slowly forming into a small pout. "Acting like you guys weren't a thing back then. I mean, that's gotta hurt, right?"

Yuxin nods, "Yes, it hurts," she closes her eyes and leaned on her chair. "But in the end, I'm happy." she exhales, trying to calm her tense self.

How can she be calm at this time? She met the girl she truly loved. Not only that, they walked side by side, held hands and drank coffee together. Wow, this must be a dream. Such a wonderful dream. She never wanted to be woken up if this was a dream.

Yuxin's heart beats fast and a smile forms on her lips. She holds her chest much like a fourteen year old high school student getting noticed by her crush.

"I mean, I cannot say that she's evil but," she hesitates, "Acting like it's all nothing is kinda..." she glances at the girl across her. Yuxin looked stupid, she thought.

The latter girl giggles at how silly Yuxin of looked. She couldn't blame her though because she must really love that girl and when people fall in love, it makes them look stupid; makes them do things they never knew they can. She knows exactly how it is.

"Yuxin, you look stupid." Yuxin disregards her room mate's comment and her mind drifts away to her next meeting with Zhuoyi.

"Did you get her contact deets?" the girl asked, taking Yuxin away from her little fairytale imagination.

She nods, looking down to her fingers and fiddling with them, thinking if she should tell her friend her plans with Zhuoyi. "You see," she started, "We were planning to meet again the day after tomorrow." Yuxin hesitated because, maybe it was her being stupid and agreeing to meet her ex-lover after what? Two years? And the fact that she was expecting for something really is just... stupid.

She sighs, giving Yuxin a pat on her back, "Yuxin, that's exciting and all but don't you think it's a bit," she bites her tongue, thinking twice if she should say what she wanted to say.

Yuxin knew what page she was on so she reassures the latter by flashing her a small smile. "I know but, I'm going to take this as a chance and grab it. After all, I can't seem to replace her."

Her friend looks at her apologetically, worried that Yuxin might not know what was coming her way. But who was she to say, this was Liu Yuxin she was looking at, she knew if things were to end well or not. She knew about the risks and it was like opening a wound that bearly healed. Yuxin knew all of this. She has got to, right?

Yuxin was a smart one but sometimes human emotions just get in the way kf being rational and logical. How smart one may be, if the heart starts to speak, we are all fools.

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*unedited