sing me a love song // liu yuxin/cai zhuoyi

skirts and dagger looks

Trigger warning: Sexual harassment. If uncomfortable, please skip the chapter.

Zhang Fei never really stood out back in his younger years. During his elementary to middle school years, he was a laughing stock for everyone. Sometimes he would think that it was just that way, that he was born to be like that, the same way other people were born beautiful. He didn't really think much of it until he was in the center of the hallway in middle school, where thick groups of people surrounds him and a bunch of girls were giggling.

"Ugh, I can't believe you came." the girl in the middle snickers, wiping her hands with the wet tissue her friend handed to her.

The other one rolled her eyes at him, "You're fucking disgusting." he doesn't understand what was happening but he was aware that this very moment his life could be over.

Not that he liked his life anyway. He can only look down to the ground and the pool of clothes the formed on his feet. No, he doesn't feel embarrassment anymore, he's gone completely numb.

Laughs and whispers can be heard and the cameras were recording but he cannot do something about it. Ah, now he gets it completely.

That moment on, he developed a fear. Girls were almost as trashy as him, he describes. They will walk past you as if they see nothing and they try not to be noticed, but then they turn their head towards you and look at you, like they have caught their prey.

It was senior year when he got hospitalized and lost a lot of weight. He never noticed since he never really cared in the first place. He couldn't bear seeing his reflection in the mirror anymore, he was disgusting as he was.

However, graduation night came and his class decided to eat outside and celebrate. He was surprised that he got invited and he intended on not coming but somehow they managed to convince him. Whatever the occasion was, he was still scared of what was gonna happen. Maybe this time, it will get worse and he'll go home with new bruises or bad memories.

"Zhang Fei," his female classmate whispers on his ear, "Do you want to get out of here? It's getting kind of boring."

Zhang Fei looks at her with wide eyes, "What? Why?"

"I just think you're cool."

Her eyes were soft and it sparkled as it looked at him. He gave himself a pinch on the thigh to see if it was real and it was. How confused he was right now because all his life, not one girl looked at him without those arched, mocking eyes.

And yes, they started going out. But a couple of months, Zhang Fei felt like it was just a rush of hormones and decided to look for someone other than his girlfriend to hang with.

"So, you're breaking up with me?" Zhang Fei asked coolly like there was nothing wrong.

The girl struggled to form words, "You cheated on me! I hate you!"

He shrugs as he shoves his hands inside his pockets, not feeling a single drop of regret in his system. "You should have seen it coming." he spat out, making the girl cry even more.

That moment on, he realized.

Girls were weak. God, he wished he could tell that to his younger self. Girls were weak. They cry about the smallest things you do and act like you ended their world. But at the end of the day, they would still get on their knees and spread their legs, and take it.

Fucking easy to win against.

---
*unedited

mAN I'M SORRY FOR THIS. THIS WAS BAD IN SO MANY LEVELS. I'm not romanticizing abuse, sexual harassment in any way, so please :((( this was just for the plot

acK