ｉｎｓｏｍｎｉａ （ ａ ｌｅｅ ｆｅｌｉｘ ｆａｎｆｉｃ）

１２．

 A Month Later
"Hey, Y/N, wanna go out?" Kim Hyun's voice comes through the phone.
"Not really." 
"C'mon, girl, you haven't been anywhere since getting home from the hospital!"
"So?"
Hyun sighs. "It's not healthy! You need to get out, do stuff!"
"I'm...doing stuff." You sit up slightly in bed to look at all the stuff laying around you. You're Nintendo Switch, your laptop, several pizza boxes, a container of Chinese food, and a Burger King crown, inexplicably. 
You can practically see Kim Hyun rolling her eyes. "Animal Crossing and Insta don't count. Girl, get out of bed. I'm outside your door."
"Hyun, no you aren't."
"Y/N, honey, please come outside."
You remember Felix's last words to you. "Y/N, honey, please..."
You hang up the phone, choking back tears. You haven't cried much since the day Felix left, so you decide to let it out now. "Felix..." You whimper.

   It's funny how many ways there are to miss someone. You miss the things they did and who they were, but you also miss who you were to them. The way everything you said and did was beautiful or entertaining or important. How much you mattered. 

   When you were with Felix, thoughts would always fill your head, because you knew as soon as classes were over with for the day, or as soon as you got to call your beautiful boyfriend, he would want to hear them all. When you know you're going to tell someone everything, you see your day through your eyes and theirs, as if they're living it alongside you.
   But when you don't, it isn't only not seeing double- it's not seeing at all. Because if they aren't there, you aren't either.

You get up from your spot in bed and walk over to the window. Sure enough, Kim Hyun is sitting on the hood of her car, looking up at you. "Come out!" She mouths, and for a moment,  you see yourself putting on nice clothes, getting ready, going out with your best friend. But then you think, there isn't a place in this town you didn't go with Felix. You shake your head at your best friend, pull your curtains closed, and go back to bed.


-FELIX POV-
"47...48...49...50..." I huff, letting go of the bar and falling back to the ground. Chan comes up next to me and lays down beside me. 
"You know, doing an obscene amount of workouts isn't going to get her back." He states.
I punch him in the stomach. "Fuck off."
"No, really, I know what I'm talking about. Healing is weird, man. Some days you're okay, and you're doing just fine, getting along with your life. Then other days the hurt comes in like a sucker punch to the stomach, it hurts like it's fresh."
I sigh softly. "When's it gonna end?" 
"It's a process with no definitive time frame, Lix. You just have to keep going and know that one day, you're going to be okay."
"I know that's supposed to make me feel better, but it doesn't. Chan, I lost her. Over Hyunjin! I left her, in a hospital, crying, because I can't protect her."
"You're not going to be able to protect her if you're sitting here whining."
"Chan, you don't get it. You didn't see the look on her face when I said it had to end. You didn't see the light fade out of her eyes. You weren't the one that caused that pain."
Chan sighs. "Felix, you're my brother, my homie, so I'm only going to say this once. I love you, and you need to get over to that girls house and apologize. Bring flowers or something."
I jump up. "You think she'll take me back?!"
He shrugs.
"Thank you Chan, you're a genius!" I leap onto the older boy and tackle him into a hug.
He pushes me off and rubs his shoulder. "It's not like an idiot couldn't have figured that out... and go shower first! You smell."

ｈｅｙ　ｇｕｙｓ！　ｓｈｏｒｔ　ｂｕｔ　ｗｏｒｄｙ　ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ，　６４６　ｗｏｒｄｓ！　ｓｈｏｕｌｄ　ｙ／ｎ　ｔａｋｅ　ｂａｃｋ　ｆｅｌｉｘ？？　ｄｉｄ　ｙｏｕ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｔｈｅ　ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ？