Match Made in Quarantine

6. ToiletPaperGate

"I might have an idea." We were sitting on the couch in the living room in dead silence when he spoke.

It had been three hours since the start of the ToiletPaperGate 2020 scandal and we were considering our options.

Hoping that this was just a neighbourhood fluke, we both instantly jumped onto our respective social media accounts only to have our hopes crushed by a slew of angry posts and memes. It was not looking good for us right now, not good at all. This wasn't happening just in New York either, it was happening all over the country. #ToiletPaperGate was already trending on Twitter. 

"I don't know if it's any good though, or if it's even gonna work...." Maddox muttered, his lips pursed together, eyes full of uncertainty.

"I'm sure it's a good idea... Any idea would be good at this point." This time I wasn't even lying when I said that.

I, for one, had absolutely no solution to our crisis. I was usually good at problem solving but when it came to this particular situation, it seemed my brain had taken a holiday. At the same time, I understood his hesitance. I'd been quick to pass judgement on some of his more foolish ideas. Now, it seemed that attitude of mine came around to bite me in the ass. Why would he share his idea when all I usually did was shoot them down? 

Guilt pooled in my stomach so I gave him a small smile, hoping it would encourage him. He smiled back and stood up from the couch hesitantly.

"My old roommate left some stuff when he moved out. I don't even know why I kept this but I think it could come in handy now...." He explained sounding a bit more confident before rushing out of the living room.

I heard things falling as he searched his room followed by a few specific curse words and I couldn't help but chuckle. He didn't seem like the tidiest person ever but I'd never actually seen his room either. I'd always just imagined it as some dark sex dungeon with ropes and chains hanging from the walls.

After a few minutes of crashing sounds, he emerged from his room holding a huge pinboard and my eyes widened with realization even before he spoke.

"Yeah, so I thought maybe we could place this in the downstairs corridor and put up a note." He held up the board with triumph as he spoke, a goofy smile on his face.

I was silent for a few moments, my mind spinning with ideas. I couldn't believe Maddox might have just solved our crisis. He was the last person I would have expected that from.

Interpreting my silence as negative, he put down the board and grimaced, "I knew it, it's a stupid idea, isn't it?"

I quickly shook my head, a bright smile pulling up my lips. "Maddox, it's a brilliant idea! You might have just saved our butts." I cocked one eyebrow at him before adding, "Literally."

Taken by surprise, his eyes widened and he scratched the back of his head bashfully. "Ah, only if it works though..."

He was right about that at least, it was a good idea but it required cooperation from our neighbors. Neighbors that I hadn't even gotten to know yet and Maddox definitely hadn't won anyone over with his late night booty sessions.

"Well, we can try and hope for the best..."

"You're gonna give them my Cheetos?!" He was peering over my shoulder as I wrote the note for the pinboard.

"You do know you bought eight bags of those?" I shook my head and when he opened his mouth to reply I held up my hand to quiet him, "Should I remind you which one of us forgot to buy the toilet paper in the first place?

His mouth snapped shut at that and he pretended he was locking his lips with an imaginary key. I shook my head at his silliness but he just shrugged before a small grin popped up on his face.

"There, I'm done." I looked at the note once more before reading it out loud, "Howdy Neighbours! We hope you and your loved ones are staying safe during this trying time! In case you were lucky enough to grab some toilet paper before the shortage and might be willing to share... We're two desperate individuals seeking a few rolls of TP until the shelves are restocked. In exchange we're offering three bags of Cheetos or a frozen pizza. We'd be happy to return the favor in the future! Please help! Your neighbors from 3C."

It wasn't exactly the best advertisement ever written but it served its purpose. Simple and to the point, at least that's what I thought and honestly, I didn't have the patience to write a new one.

"I think howdy might be a bit—" He started speaking but as soon as he saw how serious my face was he stopped mid-sentence, "A bit too good. Howdy is just the best type of hello, really. Hi is so mainstream, you know."

I rolled my eyes but smiled at his backpedaling. Considering the situation I was surprised I wasn't freaking out more. We were going to be out of toilet paper by the end of the day and who knows if anyone would actually answer our plea. Normally, I would be freaking out but somehow this on top of everything that was happening in the world seemed so ridiculous. Perhaps my mind hadn't even wrapped around everything that happened or maybe Maddox's positivity and silliness was contagious. I sincerely hoped it wasn't the latter.

"Wait, how are we going to hang this?" I started walking toward the door before stopping in my tracks and turning to Maddox. He just casually smiled as if he'd already thought of that much earlier. Smug little shit.

"My roommate never used it so there's still a sticky thing on the back." The corner of his lips pulled up into a satisfied smirk.

"Great, okay, let's go."

In the evening we were sitting in front of the TV with some random crime show playing on the screen. Neither of us was really paying attention. Maddox seemed to be texting while I caught up on all the latest news online. Both of us kept glancing at the door every so often hoping for a miracle.

"I don't think anyone's gonna show..." He let out a frustrated sigh, sounding completely dejected. 

"I mean, maybe they will tomorrow, it was pretty late in the day when we put it up..." I tried to sound positive but my words didn't seem to have any effect. He just scratched his nape and shrugged his shoulders. I could tell he was kind of upset. It had been his idea but I didn't think he'd taken it this seriously.

"I guess... I think I'm gonna head to bed. Night." He stood up, stretched, and went to his room.

Somehow, the couch felt a bit lonelier than it usually did but I shook my head to get rid of the feeling and went back to my news articles.

Hopefully, day two would bring a good samaritan our way.