Lucifer One-shots (a lot of deckerstar!)

Broken beyond repair

The cool breeze from the city far below made the balcony of the penthouse feel chilly. Yet, it was welcome against Lucifer's warm, soft cheeks as he stood there, drink in one hand, the other hand on the rail.
I love you
He shuddered. All the memories attached to this place.
I love you. Please don't leave.
But he had left anyway.

The elevator was broken, so it made no sound as it opened. Yet, the sound steps coming his way exposed that someone had come. Amenadiel, more specifically.

"This is where I left her, you know." Lucifer said without turning. "Two years ago." Amenadiel said nothing while walking to his brother's side.
"In fact, I never planned on returning." Amenadiel looked at him with something Lucifer couldn't quite recognize. Pity?
"But you did. And we won. You can stay."
"So why doesn't it feel like a victory?"
Lucifer turned and looked desperately at his brother.

Amenadiel lent his arms on the rail the way Lucifer had them.
"What happened up here, Luci? Before you left?" Lucifer shifted slightly at the question.

"We- We talked. I told her why I had to leave. And then she told me she loved me and-"
Amenadiel looked at him with a stunned expression.
"She did? But-"
Then he seemed to pull himself together. "And what did you say?"
Lucifer took the last sip of his glass.
"I told her that Eve never really was my first love. That she was. Then we kissed, and I left."
Amenadiel looked at his brother again.
"So why aren't you two together now?"

He had never intended to ask the question this directly, but now that it was out in the open, he was glad he had. Brother to brother, that was better.

"I don't know. I guess too much time has passed."
Lucifer took a yet another sip of his drink.
"I knew it." Amenadiel said under his breath. He saw Lucifer turn couriusly against him.
"What do you mean, brother?"

"You love her."

It became very, very quiet. It was as if the whole city had stopped under them.
"What-" Lucifer's hands gripped around the rail. "makes you think that?"

At that moment, Amenadiel knew he had it right.

"Because I can see it.

The way you look at her whenever you are together. How you smile to her in a way you've never smiled to any other person. As if she is the most precious thing on earth, and you would sacrifice anything to keep her safe."

"She is, and I would."

Amenadiel looked at his brother. He was so different from the devil that had moved from hell nine years ago.
"I know you would. So why don't you tell her?"

Lucifer's voice became more desperate as he talked.

"Because everything I touch crumbles to little pieces. It's just how I am. Every single time me and the de- me and Chloe gets close in any other way than our partnership, it breaks her heart, or leaves her broken in some way."
He pictured her face in his mind as he talked. Those clear blue eyes and her dirty blonde hair. How many times had he made those eyes cry?

"But if you don't do anything now, don't you think her doubts, her thoughts and her heart will help her tear herself apart?" Amenadiel asked.

"You don't know that." Lucifer answered. She may have moved on already."

"Luci, I don't know Chloe nearly as well as I know you. But I see it in her too. I think she's scared, yes, but you two are so in need of eachother. As partners, but maybe lovers as well."

Tears started to form in Lucifer's eyes. Lucifer never cried.

"But how am I ever going to live with that brother? Being the one who breaks her?"

"Luci I-"

"You were right. I do love her. In a way no one can ever describe with words. In a way that makes hell feel welcome and heaven worthless. In a way that makes every single piece of me bright up when she smiles. In a way that makes me seem like some dirty old sock you just found under the closet. When I look at her I see everything I've ever wanted, but nothing I deserve."

Lucifer stopped to take a deep breath. A stubborn tear ran down his cheek.

"And it's driving me crazy. Losing control like that. But it's my way of loving and protecting her. The day she comes to me and tells me she has found someone new, I will be heartbroken, yes, but happy for her. Maybe she will finally be happy."

The two brothers stood on the balcony in complete silence.

"What if I don't want anybody else, Lucifer?"
Lucifer recognized the voice the second he heard it. But it couldn't be, he-
"What if it's you, and only you? What if you'd let me choose what was best for me for once?"

Lucifer and Amenadiel both turned around at the same time.

There she stood, beautiful as always. Her dirty blonde hair pulled back in a tight bun, wearing a long, red dress and a pair of black shoes.

Her eyes were full of tears. Lucifer instinctively wanted to dry those tears. He took a step closer to her.

He heard a 'whoosh' behind him and Amenadiel was gone.

"Chloe."

He said the name softly, carefully, like it may break if he said it to harsh.

"Lucifer." Chloe replied, in almost the exact same tone.

Were they both crying now?

Chloe took a step towards him. She opened her mouth as if wanting to say something, then closed it again.

"I can't Chloe. You know I can't."

"Why?" Chloes tone was pleading.

"Don't you understand, detective?" Lucifers raised his voice a little.
"This is for the best."

Chloe stepped out on the balcony. She stood so close to him now. And as they stood there, face to face, Lucifer couldn't help it. He dried her tears with the sleeve of his green suit.

"This-" Chloe whispered. "Is not for the best."

He could have been standing there forever, but Lucifer knew that in that moment, if he didn't go now, he would never be able to. So he collected all he had of his willpower to this one simple move:

He released her, and turned to walk towards the elevator. He didn't look back. He couldn't look back. He was about to step into the elevator when she spoke again.

"Lucifer."

He didn't turn to look at her, but s
he knew she was crying from that one name.

"If you walk away now, it's for you. If you turn me down now, it's for you. You're not allowed to do this for me because you know perfectly well exactly what I want."

When he turned around, he met her gaze immediately.
She raised her voice a little.

"I love you Lucifer. So much that it scares me to death. In a way that makes everything else seem worthless and every breath I take without you painful. In a way that if you walk away now, I will probably be beyond repair for the rest of my life.

So please. If you step inside that elevator, you are doing so for your own sake. Not mine."

His hands were on her cheeks now. He knew he had lost to her, right there, right then.

He couldn't help but smile trough all the tears.
"That damn broken elevator." he whispered as he lent into their fourth kiss.

Authors note:
Hi everyone (and especially big hello to you Annie, I know you've been waiting for this and you're probably crying rn not because my writing is good but because you are at the end of the os and desperately need some deckerstar fanfics, get u there)

Anyways I wrote this on my phone and it's like super late so there's probably some mistakes here:)

Hope everyone is doing good and staying safe these times❤