Not Now But Forever

Chapter 24

Tinaasan ko lang ng kilay si Dale bago ibinalik ang tingin sa mga kaibigan ko. Joy looked like she's about to kill someone.

"Balik na nga tayo sa office. Mumukha akong third wheel dito eh!" Rose ranted.

Masama namin siyang tiningnan ni Joy, "Third wheel my ass!" Halos sabay pa naming kontra.

Luckily, Dale didn't bug me. As if naman he'll bug me, diba? Assuming na naman ako masyado.

Kinabukasan, nagulat ako na walang ligaw na lunch ang dumating. Nasundan iyon for how many weeks din.

"Mukhang give up na ang admirer mo ah!" Asar ni Rose sa akin.

Inirapan ko na lang ito, "Maghanap ka na kayang jowa."

"Sus! Sakit sa ulo lang yan!" She casually said. "Ikaw nga, sumakit lahat sayo eh. Ayoko ng ganun." She added.

"You know what, I think I miss a lot of things." I shrugged and chewed my food. Naglulunch kasi kami ngayon. Si Joy naman ay busy dahil inutusan ng boss namin kung saan.

"What things?" She asked.

"About our friends. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang mga nangyayare sainyo." Nahihiya kong sambit.

She looked at me and gave me a weary smile, "Naiintindihan ka naman namin. You have a lot of things on your shoulders. We don't want to pile up your burden. We are strong individuals, Charm. And we really do understand you being missing in action. You don't have to feel guilty."

Somehow, something about Rose's comforting words warmed me.

Two weeks had passed and we're busy about printing posters about the film. Nagulat ako ng makitang may mensahe sa akin ang food delivery guy.

From 09xxxx

  Hi mam nsa lobby n po ko

I went down to the lobby. Agad hinanap ng mga mata ko ang delivery guy. Sa pagkakaalala ko, hindi naman siya matangkad. Baka bagong delivery guy naman ito.

"Nasan na yung og delivery guy?" Tanong ko sa kaharap ko ngayon.

Nakasuot pa rin siya ng helmet na nagtatakip sa kanyang mukha. I stepped a move backward nang hindi ito magsalita.

"Hindi ko yan kukunin hangga't hindi ko alam kung kanino yan galing." I seriously told the delivery guy.

My heart beat so wild that I can feel my rib cage to break.

"Sakin ho to galing." My forehead creased upon hearing that familiar voice.

"What the fuck-" He cut me off when he removed his helmet and face mask, revealing the sweaty Dale.

"Hindi na rin naman kita matuturuan sa calculus eh kaya ito na lang." He said while looking intently into my eyes.

Naramdaman ko ang panginginig ng mga kamay ko. Naglakad ako palapit sa kanya hanggang sa maramdaman ko ang pagtama ng kamay ko sa pisngi niya.

I saw how his jaw clenched because of my sudden slap. How can someone have the audacity to act as if he did destroy anything?

Pakiramdam ko kulang na kulang ako para sa kanya. Pakiramdam ko ang pangit pangit ko. Pakiramdam ko ang dali ko lang ipagpalit. Ang dali ko lang lokohin. Tapos ngayon, nandito siya, acting as if everything is fine...everything is going to fine.

"I didn't know you were this insensitive." I said while gritting my teeth.

I fisted my hands to stop it from shaking. I can feel my whole body shaking because of anger.

"We were here for work. We're not here because we are going to fix everything again." I seriously told him while my tears keep on flowing, like it didn't want to stop.

It was as if, I kept it too long. Ang dami ko pa palang tinagong mga luha.

"Charm, I want to make it up to you." He whispered, enough for the two of us to hear.

Nakita ko ang pagkislap ng mga mata niya. He was like holding his tears. I am not giving him any right to cry.

"I am not giving you any right to make it up to me again. Hindi mo ba alam kung gaano mo ako winasak?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko sa kanya.

"Alam ko -" He said with a tone of defeat.

"Hindi mo alam! Kasi kung alam mo, hindi ka na magpapakita pa sa akin! Ano, Dale? Gusto mo bang malaman ha? I fucking trusted you, I had been fucking patient on you. Kung bakit hindi ka nag oopen up sa akin, inisip ko na baka di ka pa ready. Kung bakit hindi mo ako pinapakilala sa parents mo, inisip ko na baka isusurprise mo lang ako, kung bakit halos wala kang paramdam, busy ka kasi kaya inintindi ko pero...tangina naman, Dale! Happy anniversary, Charm, I'm cheating on you! Ganon yung surprise pala!" I screamed with anger.

Halos habulin ko ang hininga ko matapos sabihin iyon. Kinikimkim ko iyon for almost five years!

"I want to -" Natigil sa pagsasalita si Dale ng marinig namin ang sunod sunod na click ng camera.

Napaawang ang bibig ko ng makitang may media na pala sa labas. I saw how worried Dale's face is. Napayuko ako. Napako sa kinakatayuan ko.

"What is happening -" Napakagat ako sa labi ng marinig ko ang inis na sigaw ng Director nila.

Pakiramdam ko sirang-sira na naman ako. Why didn't we noticed them?

May sumubok na kunan ng larawan ang mukha ko ngunit mabilis akong niyakap ni Dale, covering me from the media.

Naramdaman ko ang mabilis niyang paghinga. Mas lalo lang sumikip ang dibdib ko dahil pakiramdam ko, I'm home again. I'm at peace again. Kasi, I'm with Dale.

"I promise I am going to protect you, whatever happens. I am going to protect you at all cost, Charm." He whispered while tightly hugging me, hiding me from the media.

Inalalayan ako ni Dale para makaalis doon. He looked at me with concern in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Rose asked while giving me a bottled water.

Inaayos na nila ang gulong binuo namin ni Dale. Dale, on the other hand is busy watching me.

"I'm sorry." Naramdaman ko ang katahimikan sa paligid ko.

"Mababalik ba ng sorry mo ang career ni Charm kung sakali ha?" Joy bursted in anger.

Mahigpit kong hinawakan si Joy upang pakalmahin ito. Magsasalita pa sana ito when Dale cut her off.

"I'll protect Charm. Even if it means losing my career."