Self Love • Christopher Velez •

chapter 60; i love you

Chapter 60 - I Love You

"You-I-what?"

I stood from Christopher's arm. "What did you say?"

"I said that I love you," Christopher said.

Oh my god.

"You don't mean that," I muttered.

The words from my classmates came rushing back at me like a wave, telling me that I wasn't good. That I was a deadweight. That I didn't deserve Christopher's attention. That I wasn't good enough for him.

"I mean it. Nila. I love you, Daniella," Christopher said, reaching over to hold my hands.

Tears gathered in my eyes. What had I done? Good job Dani. You didn't realise that you were not good enough for Christopher and now he's telling you that he loves you. Go ahead and hurt him. Good job, you hurt the person you love.

"Nila? What's wrong?" I pulled away.

"Look at me, Christopher. I just can't forget what they said and you know that it still affects me. You can only truly love someone else if you love yourself. You deserve more than this. You deserve more than me. I love you, but you deserve more. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. I shouldn't have gotten this close to you," I continued. At this point, tears were rolling down my face. "I shouldn't have thought that I was good enough for you. I shouldn't have led you on."

I love Christopher but I truly believed that I wasn't good enough for him. Christopher deserved the world, someone that didn't have a shitty school experience that ended up screwing her mind and life. He deserves someone so much better than me. He deserves someone that didn't second guess everything she did.

"I love you, Christopher, you deserve more than me, I'm sorry," I said, reaching up to wipe my tears. "I'm so sorry, you deserve the world. I should leave."

I turned to walk away. My hands were shaking by my side, so I clenched my fist, feeling my nails dig into my palm. A few seconds later, I felt Christopher's hand around my wrist, pulling me back.

I looked away from Christopher. He unclenched my fist and the sting from my nails was gone. He lifted my chin so that I would look at him. I avoided eye contact, I couldn't look him in the eye.

"Nila, I don't want the world, I don't want anyone more, I want you," Christopher said. "I'm in love with you."

I looked at Christopher to see him looking straight at me. "Do you love me?"

"Yes, Christopher, I love you."

"Then don't do this please. Don't let your crappy classmates win," Christopher said, walking closer to me.

I looked up at him. "I'm sorry for screwing everything up, Christopher."

He opened his arms slightly and I wrapped my arms around his torso, my face in the crook of his neck.

"You didn't mess anything up. I don't want more. I want you. You're good enough, Nila, more than enough. I'm in love with you, not anyone else."

His arms tightened around my waist. "I love how you say 'oh my god' all the time. I love how you love sour candy. I love how you're scared of horror movies but will watch it with me. I love how you don't hold back when you kiss me. I love how you blush when I say things to you. I love how you roll your eyes with a smile. I love how you cover your face with your hair when people are looking at you. I love how you bite your lips and it drives me crazy. I love how you call me baby. I love how you would switch between Spanish and English all the time. I love how you make me feel. I love you."