33 | blake

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It doesn't take long to wipe the lipstick off of my lips as I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror of a stranger's house during a party I'd stupidly agreed to attend

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It doesn't take long to wipe the lipstick off of my lips as I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror of a stranger's house during a party I'd stupidly agreed to attend.

Once I've removed the lipstick and am forced to stare at my lips that are now a little swollen from the kiss I've just shared with Noah Reed, I begin to have a feeling that the memory of the kiss will be a lot harder to remove than the lipstick had been.

The problem with the kiss isn't that I know I'll never be able to forget it. The problem is that I don't want to forget it.

Everything about kissing Noah had been perfect. It'd just felt . . . right. Having him so close to me had me feeling things I'd never felt for a boy before. Kissing Noah, I'd wanted the moment to last forever.

I've always found Noah attractive, though the two of us had only ever been friends up until tonight. Over time, I'd developed an attraction for him that has led to genuine feelings, but I'd always thought they were feelings Noah would never return. But that was before he'd kissed me.

Now I don't know what to think. Everything now seems confusing. The kiss we shared didn't help to sort out any of my feelings. All it seemed to make clear was that I certainly do have feelings for Noah Reed.

Ever since Mason and I broke up, I've always been wary of boys. I can't explain why, though I suppose it has something to do with the way Mason hurt me. We'd been close friends for years and then began dating, so the trust I'd had in Mason was immense. I'd assumed that someone who knew me so well for so long and claimed to love me would never hurt me.

Yet, he did.

I began to wonder how a boy who knew everything about me could hurt me in such a way and what was stopping other boys from doing the same. I suppose Mason made me lose trust in the entire male population.

But I trust Noah.

It's weird, considering I know of his reputation and about his past. I've seen how he tries to act like he's the worst. However, I see through his act. When I look at Noah, I see a lot of myself. I see his pain. His struggle. I think that's what initially drew me toward him. I could sense him hurting, and I wanted to show him that this world has more to offer than pain and misery and suffering.

Furthermore, I've seen the way he interacts with my siblings, how gentle and caring he can be. I've seen his smile, heard his laugh, witnessed the way his eyes light up with something excites him. I've shared secrets with him, created memories that will never fade. In the time I've spent getting to know Noah because I wanted to help him, he became a friend to me.

A friend I just kissed.

The way he kissed me . . . I've never quite been kissed like that before, but I know it's not how you kiss your friends—considering you just don't kiss your friends. It's the kiss that has me wondering if maybe Noah Reed has some unresolved feelings for me, as well.

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