56 | blake

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Returning to school after the weekend merely reminds me that there is still another full month until summer break, which puts a damper on my mood

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Returning to school after the weekend merely reminds me that there is still another full month until summer break, which puts a damper on my mood. Still, it makes me feel better to know that eventually summer will come, leading to many more adventures like the one I had with Noah, Mia, and Thorne over the weekend, which is something to look forward to.

My phone vibrates with a text from Noah as I'm walking toward the school building, and I read it to find that he's explained he will be a little late to school today. I reply to tell him I don't mind, entering the school and heading for my locker.

As I'm walking down the hallway, I notice that the space around me seems unusually quiet. I look around curiously at the handfuls of students scattered around me, noticing a few people already looking my way. My eyebrows furrow at the realization, as I've never been the kind of girl to stand out before.

I make eye contact with some gazes that remain fixated on me, finding their eyes to immediately drop and focus on something else. I find this odd, but conversation around me seems to pick up once again, so I merely shrug the strange encounter off and walk the rest of the way to my locker.

I'm unable to shake the feeling that I'm being watched as I'm putting away my books. I inhale a deep breath and tell myself I'm only imagining things and to keep calm.

Closing my locker, I turn to find a concerned and upset appearing Jess making her way over to me. I remain standing by my locker as I watch her approach, noticing the frown she wears and her frazzled expression.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jess whispers once she's by my side, after staring at me in silence for a brief moment. Her voice cracks, increasing my worry.

Her question confuses me, and I'm left feeling utterly lost. It doesn't help matters that it feels as if every student to enter the hallway seems to be glancing my way without bothering to hide the fact that they're staring. Across the hall by the other set of lockers, two underclass girls pointedly look my way before turning to each other to whisper intently.

I'm starting to feel like something is happening. Something that seems to concern me.

Returning my attention to Jess, I feel abnormally uptight. My heart pounds furiously as panic rises in my chest. I know the feeling all too well. A panic attack seems to be forming, and I know that if I don't manage to calm myself down that the feeling will spread until I can no longer control it. I've had experience with panic attacks all my life, but I've never had drastic problems with them until recently. Not until after everything that happened with Mason.

"Why didn't I tell you what?" I ask. I try to suck in a deep breath, but it feels like there is no air getting to my lungs. I have to remind myself that I am in control of my body and emotions, not the other way around. However, as my best friend looks at me as if she doesn't recognize me, I begin to feel like maybe I don't have anything under control at all.

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