I Wish I Could

•|Chapter Four|•

Cover made by Shiro_008
Isn't it pretty 😍
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August 29, 2017

I woke up to someone poking me in the cheek. I slowly opened my eyes, the sun blinding me. When my vision focused, I leaped and tackled him into a hug.

He chuckled. "Miss me?"

"Of course. Who else am I supposed to embarrass."

He gave me a pointed look.

"I'm only joking little brother," I teasingly said.

"Yeah, whatever." We sat in silence for a moment. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to be here," the hurt in his voice made me break.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. It must've been hard. Especially on you and his mom and Seria. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you to talk to." My breath hitched, as tears welled up in my eyes. He was talking about Brendan's death. 

"Hey, don't cry." He engulfed me into a hug. If there is one thing about Keivin, he didn't like to see anybody crying. It made him uncomfortable.

I don't know how long we sat there in silence, but when the sun blinded me again, I knew it was time for us to move.

"Thought you weren't coming home for another two days?" I ask.

"We finished early, so coach let all the underclassmen go. Only the seniors had to stay, mostly because they fucked up and were cought drinking. Well not cought doing it, but they were cought with the trash in there cabin." He rolled his eyes and scoffed. "If you're going to be drinking, especially at a training camp then you need to be smart about it."

"I thought only you and a few other under class-men were invited to it? Wait, you drinked? You know how-"

"No I didn't," he shook his head. "I wouldn't, not after...."

"Yeah," I sighed, "I know."

"Speaking of drinking, how bad was it?"

"He wasn't so bad. Mostly because he had to work during the weeks, but on  Saturdays he would drink, and the other day it was bad. It wasn't even ten o'clock and he was drinking heavily. Then I got home and...."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for that either. You know not to take-"

"Anything he says to heart when he's like that," I finished. "It's just hard sometimes, you know?"

Our dad wasn't a bad guy, he just had a problem with drinking. He's always drank, but ever since that accident he has just gotten worse. It just his way of coping with the loss though I think. Yeah it's not the best way, but I think it makes him feel closer to him.

"Enough seriouse talk, let's go do something." And with that he pulled me up out of my bed, shoving a pair of socks in my face.

~

"Where are we going?" I asked as we walked around down town.