I Wish I Could

•|Chapter Seven|•

Trigger Warning!
- - -

September 7, 2017

"Autumn! Autumn, where are you?" Brandon called out.

"Over here!" I shouted, but he didn't hear me.

We were standing meters apart, in a feild. Brandon's slowly turning around in circles, calling out my name.

"I'm right here!" I keep shouting at him. I try to walk towards him, but every time I try to take a step the distance between us gets bigger, and bigger until we are miles apart.

"Autumn!" He keeps yelling out for me.

"Autumn," I felt someone shaking me.

"Brandon?" I whisper into the darkness.

"No, it's Keivin. Autumn wake up."

"Autumn," but the shaking was persistent.

Slowly I open my eyes, and see Keivin standing over me. He looks so worried. Fully awake now I sit up.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine, are you?" He questions.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you where crying in your sleep, and you kept calling out his name."

"I'm fine." I give him a tight lipped smile. "What time is it?"

"Five thirty."

I groaned.

"I might as well stay awake or else I won't wake up on time."

Keivin gave me a smile before he whispered sorry and walked out.

Left alone in my dark room, I had so many questions.

Why did I finally dream of Brandon after almost a month? Why now?

With those two simple questions, also brought up a few other ones that I wondered the answer to.

Why haven't you thought of him? Why haven't you even been in a daze remembering him, them. You haven't thought about him in over six months. You didn't truly love either of them did you?

I sat in my bed listening to my thoughts for another half and hour before I got up. I quickly threw on a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt before I got ready to go on a quick run to pass time before I had to get ready.

I stopped at the local park and sat on a swing.

So many memories were made in this park, in this spot.

On this very swing was the swing Brandon jumped off of when we were seven and broke his arm. He had a pink cast because it was October, and he wanted to show his support. He was picked on for having a pink cast, but that didn't stop him. If anything it made him more dareing.

For Halloween that year he was a princess. Princesses Arora in her pink dress to be exact.

That Halloween was only the start though. The next year he was a fairy. Every year he was something that was associated with girls. We had vowed to be what people typically wouldn't think our gender would wear, exept for when we were eight- Carry and us were the three masketeers- or twelve- we were pears- and 14- we were a pair of boobs. Our Mom's didn't know. We had bought them off of Carry's cousins Amazon account and pretended to be ghosts until we were in the all clear.