That Loser [ Renhyuck ]

Mark

I woke up in the morning. Remembering last night, I smiled to myself. I don't know what came over me last night, kissing Renjun like that, but I'm glad.

I can't believe it. I lost memory of being in a relationship with him, and I fell for him again. Renjun is just that ethereal. I got up, took a shower and got my clothes on, still smiling.

The boy in my dreams, was it Renjun? Who else would it be?

My heart melted at how understanding Renjun is. Sure I was a little disappointed he didn't tell me, because of what happened. He must have felt so terrible. I sighed, wishing I haven't gotten in that accident.

I was going to meet Mark today. He's my secretary actually. I had no idea I would have a secretary. It made me feel kinda cool though. 

I got out to see Renjun getting ready for work, and Renshu still snoring on the couch.

Renjun met my eyes and grinned. "Morning sunshine,"

"Morning," I kissed him on the forehead. This feels nice.

"Well, I've got to head for work, and I'm leaving my keys with my brother," Renjun shook his head at his brother. "I have no idea how he became popular in high school,"

I just shrugged, chuckling. Renshu is handsome, someone like him would definitely draw a lot of attention.

"Where are you going?" Renjun noticed my suit and tie. 

"Well, I eventually have to settle my job and all, so I'm meeting up with my secretary,"

"Oh ok, say hi to Mark hyung for me,"

"You know him?"

"Uh...yeah?" Renjun looked at him. "He has come over a couple of times,"

"Oh," I looked at him. Renjun nodded. There was something unreadable in his eyes, but I decided to let it slide.

"Yeah, so I'll be going!"

"Take care cutie~"

Renjun was surprised at the name, but he smiled back at me. His smile was so bright, I had to grin myself. Renjun just chuckled before waving, leaving for work. I was still smiling as I got my suitcase. It was funny looking at myself in the mirror, with my tie and all. Who knew? I, Lee Donghyuck, would be a car salesman, technically a manager now, since I've been promoted to that post 2 months ago.

According to Mark I guess.

My new phone feels weird. Everything is new, so there isn't an ounce of familiarity in it. I didn't like this feeling, feeling of not knowing. I remembered people, and their past with me, but who knew what terms we were on right before my accident, or the fun memories we had before that. 

It feels like I missed everything, like I went abroad and came back after a long time.

I turned to Renshu who was still snoring. He seems like a stranger to me, but I'm pretty sure we met before. I wore my shoes and left the house.

As I arrived at the office, I furrowed my eyebrows. What is this place?

I literally don't remember anything at all huh?

"Hey Hyuck!" I turned around to see a man with black rimmed spectacles around my age. His hair was slicked back, and he was wearing a suit himself, looking pretty neat. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Oh right I forgot," he said extending a hand. "I'm Mark, your secretary?"

"Oh..aha yeah," I shook his hand. He grinned as he pushed his glasses up.

"So, I should show you your office," Mark said. "And you really don't remember anything?"

I shook my head. He nodded.

"It's okay, it's not your fault," he smiled. "Don't worry, I'm pretty sure you'll get a hang at all of this,"

"Oh okay," I said following him. Now it felt like he was my boss.

So Mark spent the entire day showing me what to do, and I've honestly have to say that I'm so grateful for what he has done. It's probably not easy for him to settle all of these stuff.

"Thank you so much," I told him as I finished writing down a memo. I've kinda got the hang of it, and some of the things Mark mentioned triggered my memory. It definitely wasn't there when I walked in earlier.

"No worries," Mark smiled. As I was doing my work though, I noticed Mark glanced at me up and down, making me raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah?"

"Do you really not remember?" Mark started. "Who I am?"

"Yeah, but you're my secretary, right?"

"Right, but-" Mark sighed before looking right at me. "Oh fuck it,"

He leaned closer to me, startling me, before placing his lips on mine. That was when I remembered. I remembered the things we did. Things we weren't supposed to, things I didn't even want to remember. It seemed like a few seconds, but it was like an eternity for me, remembering all that. I didn't want to anymore so I quickly pushed him away.

"Wha-"

"I-" I didn't know what to say. I knew I was cheating on someone with him. I remembered all the lies. Was it Renjun? Did I actually cheat on Renjun.

"You still don't remember?"

"No I do fuck..." It was too much for me to process. I would never imagine myself to cheat on someone. Maybe my brain is playing tricks on me.

"So...I dated you....and Renjun?"

"No you...." Mark didn't know how to say this. "You kind of had an affair with me,"

"So I cheated on him?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah,"

"And why did you think kissing me was a good idea?"

"I love you Hyuck! I know it's wrong but I do.."

I can't believe this has happened. Now the guilt is overflowing me. I couldn't speak, not knowing what to do. Somehow, I don't love Mark, I love Renjun.

"Mark.." I looked at the boy. "I'm sorry I guess I don't feel the same,"

"So you were using me?"

"I don't know Mark I'm sorry," I said, "What...whatever we had, you don't deserve it okay, I think you're better off with someone else," I looked at him.

"Yeah I know," he sighed. "Somehow I knew this day would come,"

I didn't know what to say to that, so I focused on my thoughts. Was it loneliness? Was it stress? It didn't seem like Renjun and I were on bad terms before.....

Right?

Pls don't kill me I love y'all