My Book Of Poetry

At Night

I miss you most at night,
When I am lonely and in need of a hug,
We were never good together
In friendship or more.
During the day,
When people are around
I rarely think of you in a good light,
But when it's dark out
And no there's one to remind me what good love is,
When I am left to put a name to this craving,
It is always your name
And I'm here to ask you,
When will it stop?
When will I stop associating you with love,
Or our toxic realationship with goals?
When will dating stop being me trying to replace you?
Because I honestly hate you,
You put me through so much
You broke me to put me back together the way you wanted
And the thing you made me into,
It still yearns to please you
And I hate that part of me,
The part of me who feels like you can never be replaced
That letting you go was the end of hope for me,
When staying with you would have killed me
Slowly and like a untraceable poison,
You would've watched me suffer
Basked in the glory of taking pity and staying with a dying thing
Than shoved me off a cliff once I reached the point of no return,
And they would have thanked you
For staying so close to me in my dying days.
And I know your just enough of an ass
To tell them it was your pleasure.
So tell me baby,
When will my heart agree with the rest of me
Agree that you are not to be trusted
And dms are not to be sent or read
Because it's been over a year,
Yet I still want to call you late at night
When the house is asleep
And none can tell me what love is supposed to be.
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May/3/2020