My brother's best friend

Chapter 31

This chapter is dedicated to Su di, username: loftynoni as a short "best of luck" for the future and as a token of thanks for being the absolutely best pseudo-elder-sister one could ask for. Also showering all my support and best wishes on Chaaru, username: TurquoiseWav for no particular at reason at all. She is a strong one though.

An ego defence mechanism is a way of reducing anxiety by distorting reality unconsciously. It also defends the ego against the awareness of the instinctual reality. It is normal and adaptive; people who use these mechanism are often unaware of doing so.

Naina had read it somewhere. She vaguely remembered reading about it in one of the school library books as a past time, earning herself ridicule from fellow students for being so "behenji and studious."

But that mindless crowd wasn't exactly aware of how useful it could prove in the future and how true it was. Truth be told, she herself didn't anticipate its use in the future. But obviously she was proved very wrong.

Anyway.

The defence mechanism also explained how one's behaviour could be influenced by any shock provoking event. The more one thinks about it, the more he/she can relate.

Repression: Anxiety provoking behaviours or thoughts are totally dismissed by the unconscious.

Her mind, soul and body were all trying their best to go back to its normal state. Trying to regress the previous night. Trying to reach the state existing before Sameer had suddenly decided to fall in love with her. No matter how much she tried to control this mad heart of hers, make it understand that Sameer can never be be hers, it refused to listen. His heart might belong to her- God it was difficult to wrap her head around this little detail- but he can never be hers. Not completely anyway. Some parts will always be missing. There will always be that little thorn in between them, that tiny road block which was enough to halt the movement of their vehicles. They could definitely try to lessen that bit of a distance, but never overcome it completely.

How perfectly difficult, complicated and skillfully-secured was her fate? Has someone locked it away with a key? Even love can't enter it easily. She doubted if it will ever try to enter again.

Denial: A person refuses to accept reality.

A sudden hysteria broke out of her skilfully shut mouth. The damn theory was horrendously accurate. The shock of having Sameer confess his feelings for her. The shock of not being unwanted and cast away, seemed way too good to be true last night. It all seemed like one of those dream she used to have in childhood. The one where her mother came back from the dead and her father loved her dearly, just like he loved Arjun bhaiya.

That perfect dream never came true, but Sameer did start loving her. He truly loved her. And she couldn't believe it at all. Didn't she say it last night? Denial was apparently the first moment of interest after Declaration. Honestly speaking, she still can't believe it. But his eyes- ones that can never be hers- had been so expressive and truthful that she just had to trust him....if not believe him right away.

Displacement: Redirection of an impulse (usually aggression) onto a powerless substitute target.

She should repeat it out loud so that it becomes more clear and profound. This theory is horrendously accurate. Hadn't she shouted on, and tried to take out her pain on the powerless and innocent Preeti just a few minutes back. All her sister did was try to get Naina to eat. So that she can live to see another day.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Why the hell is she chasing Preeti away? A number of boys will come and go in her life, but Preeti will always remain the only constant. The one factor preventing her from completely turning over to the evil and appealing insanity. She gazed at the balcony. The shadows from last night were finding their way back to her. Yet again