Make It Right

three

Taehyung

i cant fall asleep.

we have to practise 17 hrs  and i cant fall asleep. 

its already 4:30 a.m. practise is at 8 . a few hours of sleep and im good to go. 

i miss my granma

i miss her a lot.

she always made me feel calm.  

sometimes i wish this darkness could fate.

sometimes i wish my dark thoughts would go away.

after grandpa joined granma ive just become a shell.

not everything revolves around being popular when you feel empty all the time. 

i stopped caring baout myself after grandpa passed. 

i literally spent half of my life with my grandparents. they protected me loved me.

i wish i could go hug my mom and fall asleep. the darkness would go away for a short time atleast. being away from them is really not easy. i miss them evrryday but dont show it.

i  dont want my members to worry about me. 

i miss my grandma . she always made me feel so light and free.

i feel suffocated. coz i havent cried much .

its just im in this dark place and not ready to come out.

i cant tell Jimin hell just get worried.

i just.... i cant breathe...

i get up and go to jungkook's room.

ive sneaked into his room before when i cant fall asleep and sleeping next to him im out in a sec. he makes me calm. he makes me happy. i dont know why but he just does. i slowly turn the door knob and enter his room .

 he's asleep. 

i go over the othr side of the bed and lie next to him. i put my palm over his arm.

he makes me calm. the darkness is slowly being replaced by light. i almost fall asleep but

"Tae what the fuck.?

he jerks my arm away.

why you being so touchy? just stop Tae. if you wanna sleep here then just ask stop whatever you do. thanks forwaking me up half an hour early. thanks to you im half an hour short of sleep today"

and he leaves.

angrily.

i just wanted to get a good few hours of sleep after 4 days and thats gone. 

why does it hurt?

why is the darkness growing?

why do i feel like falling into an endless pit?

why do i feel so hurt when he just said simple words?

why is he my light?

i feel so weak and the next moment i pass out.