Thirty. Tears.

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"Where are you? And I'm so sorry, I can't sleep, I cannot dream tonight. I need somebody, and always this sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting every time." - Blink 182

                 As soon as we got to the hotel, AJ went with me to our room, while the guys went to their to get changed and stuff, so, I took a shower, put pj's on, and sat down in the room. It didn't take too long for Seth and Roman to come, so we decided we should call Punk and Leigh, just so they could make part of it as well.

So, it was like we were all in the same room, and I told them everything that I had in mind. How I would choose Dean,  - which they already knew -, how Dean fucked up, and then what he told me and how I was feeling about Stephen now.

"That's what happened." I sighed, as I finished.

"Why does everything happen to one of us?" Punk sighed.

"We're fucked up people, that's why." Seth said.

"Where's Dean right now?" Leigh asked.

"Our room." Roman replied.

"Y'know, I could kill him right now. He's just pathetic. He says he 'likes her', but what's he doing?!" Punk spat.

"I said that giving him hopes would make everything worse..." Seth sighed.

"You told me, but he ruined everything. I was looking for him, to work things out, y'know? But he was the one kissing someone else, and not me." I said.

"I know, I didn't mean that..."

"What are you gonna do about Stephen now?" Roman asked.

"I don't know... I'm not sure... If it's better to break up with him, or not." I sighed.

"Are you unhappy about him?" AJ asked.

"No. But I'm not happy either."

"It'll be the best for both of you that way." Punk said.

"I know." I sighed.

"Tonight?" Roman asked, and I nodded yes.

"What about you and Dean?" Seth asked. "I mean, business?"

"I'll be professional, nothing more than necessary, and I'll try my best not to end up arguing with him."

"It will be better like that." Leigh said.

"I hope so..." I sighed.

I ended up changing subjects, because I didn't want to think about it all right now. It was just... Confusing. I didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do, or what I felt. There was a big hole inside me, and I just wanted to do something to change that. But what?

"So, everyone's gonna be here on the weekend?" Punk asked.

"Yup." Seth nodded.

"What's so important we can't miss?" Roman asked.

"It's a fucking surprise, Roman." He chuckled. "You'll see. Hm... Lacy..."

"Yes?"

"Will Stephen come or not?"

"Punk, he's your friend, of course he should be there if it's something really important."

"Just don't want you to feel bad..."

"I won't, dumbass." I chuckled.

"Okay." I could 'hear' the smile on his voice.

AJ and the guys kept asking what was the surprise about, or for a hit, but of course, Punk gave them nothing, and I pretty much knew he wouldn't let a single word out about it. Everything should be as he planned, and he wouldn't do anything that wasn't in his plans. Then, Stephen called, and I decided it was time for us to talk.

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