Souvenir

Illusion

I remember I asked your number, saying it was for a friend

I remember I went to parties, hoping you too would attend

All those gifts and presents that I sent,

Collecting all those "Thank you" notes you resent.

I remember all those times, we talked about your friend's affairs.

Almost half the time, I didn't even know who they were.

All my attention went to the one for whom I truly cared.

Sometimes I had second thoughts, which made me go insane.

The only reason I didn't try before, was I didn't want to cry again.

I thought you would leave me then, and my tears would start to rain.

I was afraid our friendship, could very well go in vain.

I was scared, that your rejection would hit me like a train.

But when I confessed, you agreed and my mind felt like a plane.

You asked why didn't I say before, I replied I knew how it pained.

All those years I had to wait, was worth it at the end.

I know she misses me sometimes, while I miss her every day.

Still, with her, I feel uneasy. I forget what else to say.

It feels odd, should I stay?

Asking myself what's wrong, but does it matter anyway?

Love's after all, not something to be played.

In the end, all is done nothing now can be changed.

Even if we are together, something just feels strange.

I feel all this was planned, my doubts I just can't arrange.

But if I walked out on her now, it would be seen as a betrayal.

Everyone around retorts, I waited years for her to tell.

I need to bring myself in control, It's already too late to bail.

I need to make it up to her, trying not to fail.

Within a sea of emotions, I set sail.

Your brother wished for me to keep away,

He said I was just a bet, to you a simple wager.

I contacted all your exes, they tell me you were a nightmare.

You thought I didn't know, but to this, I am no stranger.

I myself played jokes like this, I know it's a game-changer.

But this time it isn't a game.

It'll ruin my honor, ruin my name.

On the line is my fame.

I guess I had it coming since I also once did the same...