𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐍.

♡︎v. Uncomfortable

"no, I just can't seem to feel at all"
* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Reader POV
Us three were now located
at the other part of the desert.
I had climbed to the top of the tall bone structure set at the side of our location, trying to find a comfortable position to get into,
in my lonesome.
Since, as of right now, Popee was too busy practicing his juggling, getting visibly pissed he was shit at it, then started throwing bombs at Kedamono instead, as if he was blaming him for his problems.
I was having a very odd day myself, for some reason.
I woke up quite nervous, and felt utterly drained. I didn't want to do anything today,
but, again...it's not like I had to.
I brought a magazine up to the top of the bone structure with me, just with a thought it would slightly take my mind off the nervousness, but it only made me feel more impatient.
Reading.
I scoffed and threw it down forcefully off of the bone formation I was sitting on, feeling tears forming into my eyes.
I didn't know what was wrong with me today, but everything just felt incredibly weird and lonely.
I didn't like it.
I look up from where I had dropped the magazine below, and see Popee still raging out on Kedamono.
I want his attention.
I want him to notice me.
I feel the tears grow heavier as I stare at them once again, Popee chasing him out of fury.
whatever.
I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear as I shift my body weight on the structures spine, just as a tear finds its way rolling down my cheek. Another one rolls from the other eye making me realize my eyes must have filled to the edge so much with tears it overflowed themselves, since I didn't blink in order for them to fall.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
I climb to the side of the structure and make my way down as quiet as I could, not wanting to catch Popee or Kedamono's attention.
I didn't really feel like talking to them since i'd probably have to explain what was wrong, and as much as I didn't wanna be alone and wanted them to notice, I still didn't even know what was wrong, enough to even explain.
So I couldn't.
I just silently walked away, hoping they wouldn't look over, and made my way back to our other location.
Once I got there, it was so quiet.
I was all alone as I looked around the arena, everything still. I bring my hands up to hug my body, it being the only source of comfort at the moment. I scrunch my nose feeling more tears swelling up in my eyes.
I didn't know what was wrong, but I couldn't stop. I was incredibly nervous and slightly panicking, I felt as if I didn't know or understand what was happening.
Everything was a total blur.
I silently wished Popee had seen me...now I didn't care if I had to explain, I just wanted someone. Being alone here was too uncomfortable.
I look up once more and take a last look around me, before walking to my tent and going inside. As soon as the fabric falls closed behind me, I start wailing, seeming it was the only way to let it out.
It could have been loud enough for Popee or Kedamono to hear, if only they were at the same location I was, that is.
But they weren't.
I was all alone.
Soon enough, I was crying so much my head started to pound and I felt as if I couldn't breathe. I started huffing heavily as if I was trying to catch my breath, along with more tears continuing to stream down my cheeks.
"what is wrong with me?" I cry out to myself, hugging my legs close to my chest as I sit in the middle of my mattress.
I cry out once again and take a long sniff, only to then hold my breath as I hear something outside my tent.
"y/n?! y/n, are you here?!"
It was Popee.
I scrunch up my face, worried about the fact he was about to see me like this, but I was also relieved he was here too.
Before I could respond, my tent flies open, revealing a very worried Popee.
He gasps and walks in closer to me as I bring my hands up to wipe off my cheeks.
He sits himself down on my mattress in front of me quickly and looks into my eyes, now red from tears.
"y/n, what's wrong?! Did someone hurt you?! A-are you okay?!-"
Tears start to form in my eyes again, as if the questions had triggered them once more, somehow. I grabbed Popee by swinging my arms around his neck and throwing myself on him, wailing like a child.
"P-Popee, I just!- I-I just need to let it out..." I whimper against his shoulder. He hugs himself tight around me and kisses against my neck.
"okay, y/n, i'm right here...it's alright, you don't have to explain anything if you don't want to. I just at least want to make sure you're okay" He tries his best to comfort me as I whine into his neck, bringing my hand up to the back of his head to pull him closer.
My cries quiet down, but the tears didn't stop. I sniffled as he rubbed my back and continued to leave kisses along my neck, muttering that it was going to be alright.
He inhales through his nose deeply before attempting to pull me away carefully.
I lean back and look up at him, and see his eyes were slightly glassy.
My panicking must have made him upset.
I look down, as I felt incredibly guilty for making him worry, but at the same time I felt quite relieved he was concerned.
I clean my cheeks again before looking back up at him.
"i'm sorry" I say.
He flinches a bit, seemingly shocked by what I said.
"wh-what? sorry? for what? you did absolutely nothing wrong" He caresses my arm, staring into my eyes.
"i-if anything, I should be apologizing! I should've been with you, and I should've realized you needed someone...that you needed me"
I blink a few tears away as I shake my head.
"no, no. dont blame yourself, Popee. you didn't know. you can't blame yourself for something you didn't even notice, I was the one who reserved myself" I say, trying to ease his mind.
I gently stretched for his clothed hand, and held it under mine. Before any of this apologizing constantly crap would get out of hand, I decided to just explain how I felt to him.
"I was feeling very anxious, sad, lonely, overwhelmed...but not for any particular reason, sometimes it just happens" I say, looking down.
I think for a moment, trying to remember how else to explain.
Looking back up at his sympathetic expression, I attempt my explanation.
"We all have bad days sometimes, you know?" I try and relate to him, maybe to make the explaining a bit easier.
"Just how when you're upset you...throw your bombs, or knives at Kedamono to get all your negative emotions out" I say with a small laugh, making Popee smile and chuckle lightly as well.
I sniffle and smile up at him.
"I'm okay, Popee. just had a bad day. there doesn't have to be a reason I did, all the time. to me, it's natural. and don't blame yourself for it! you noticing I was gone and even coming here to look for me is just enough to make me feel better. much better than you realizing and leaving me be, actually" I soothe him.
He stares into my eyes and gives me a slight nod.
I felt an eye trickle with a tear once more, tickling a bit as it fell down my cheek.
Popee lifts up his hand and wipes it away.
"no, no more of that" He chuckles lightly, leaning forward and kissing my cheek where the tear had been wiped.
He leans back enough to look into my eyes.
"don't be sad anymore, y/n" he says simply, before kissing my lips.
I hum, just before he breaks the kiss quickly.
"do I not make you happy enough? the fuck is that?" He teases, and I shove his shoulder.
"Popee!"
"i'm just messing with you" he says, pecking my lips again.
"actually, when I left to come here and sat in my tent alone...the reason I was even more upset was because you weren't here, and I regret not telling you while I still had you"
He brings a hand to my cheek and caresses it.
"don't be stupid, you'll always have me. I noticed you were gone, and came running, didnt I?" He smiles at me, and I couldn't help but grin back.
Then he leans forward, and places a long, passionate kiss to my lips before I could respond to his cheesy remark.
This stupid boy making me fall  in love with him more
every day.

* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
"i'm not comfortable"