The Seduction Of Deception. (girlxgirl)

Chapter 6: Nothing Lasts.

It has been a few months since Dani divulged her secrets to me. And since then, we've been inseparable.

I don't know what it is about trauma, but when you find someone who's been through some fucked up shit like you have, you hold onto them for dear life. Although we didn't share the exact same experiences, Dani still lost her mother like I lost my Dad. 

Of course I couldn't tell her about my true past, but when my defences were down a few details slipped from my blabbering mouth. She had a way of making me feel so comfortable around her that I would forget I wasn't the same person I was before I came to Chicago.

I told her how I used to use drugs, and how I had overdosed and it changed me completely. She took me by surprise when she confided that she too, used drugs to fill the abyss that her mother ripped into her soul when she died. That night we talked deeply, spilling untold secrets, each hanging onto every word the other said. Her words were beginning to penetrate the walls I had built over the years, and quite frankly, I was scared shitless.

The girl I once was, she was dead and buried deep in my subliminal mind. She was never meant to be found. But Dani was digging, and inevitably Beck would appear once more. 

***

"Hey babe." Dani snuck up behind me, her hands snaking around my waist whilst I stood looking out of the window of my office. 

I may have forgotten to mention we were kind of a thing now. Whoops. 

There was just something that made us unable to go more than a day without seeing each other. It was like magnetism, the force felt like it would swallow me up if I didn't see Dani within 24 hours of waking up. The pull became stronger every time she got close to me, and eventually I couldn't take it anymore, so I asked her to be my girlfriend. 

Last week we revealed our relationship to the entire office.

Accidentally. 

We may, or may not, have been fooling around in Dani's office, when someone knocked on the door. Obviously we quickly wrapped up what we were doing, but what I failed to recognise was that I had left my red lacy bra on the floor next to her desk, so when he opened the door, Tom (one of our workers), got the full picture of what we had just been doing.

Naturally, word spread around the office like a wildfire. But I couldn't be mad for too long. If we weren't exposed then, I'm sure it would've been sometime soon anyway considering with every passing day it became diligently harder to keep our hands off of each other.

It's been 4 months since Dani's confession. She's still reporting to Carson and I feel unbelievably guilty for not standing up for Sarah, but I just can't. I guess I'm just really selfish, but I can't find the courage within me to destroy this close-to-perfect life I have made for myself. And to top it all off, I was starting to fall ridiculously hard for Dani. I'm sure if she found out her girlfriend had been lying to her for a substantial amount of time, she would become her ex girlfriend. And my selfishness craved her presence like medication, so I decided not to tell her the truth. 

"What are you thinking about?" Her hands were still coiled around me, but I wasn't complaining. 

"Nothing, really. I just missed you."

Her head was resting on mine, and I felt her laugh into my hair. "I saw you ten minutes ago in the staff room, silly."

"Yeah, well, when I say I miss you, I mean I miss how your body feels against min-" I was interrupted by someone barging through the door.