I'll Die For You, Homie

o n e

February 17, 2000

Smutt

"Nigga you lucky all these guards and shit around." Joshua tells me as we embrace in a quick bro hug. "I should be beatin' yo' ass right now." I laugh him off. I know he serious on the cool, but ain't shit he can do to me—unless he's trying to catch a case.

"What'chu mean bro?" I fuck with him. "Why you tryna fight a nigga?"

"You had us all thinkin' yo' ass was gon' be gone til Smuttie was grown." He shakes his head as we sit down at the picnic like table. "You coulda laced us up, bro."

"I could have, but I didn't wanna let anybody know nothing, so I can pop up on some mutha fucka's when I touch down." I subtly let him know it's more to it than that.

"I feel you bro, but still. You could have let us know something. I bet you let Arique lil ass know." He smirks like he pulled my card.

"What y'all been up to though?" I change the subject.

"I'ma let you think you slick nigga. Everything straight though. You know we holdin' down the shop and helpin' out wit' the kids bro."

"How are my babies doing?" I smile as I think about my sons. Even though Ericka told me that she's not one hundred percent sure that DeAriaue is mine, I still claim him as mine because he looks like me and Smuttie. Even if she has more kids with Weasel's ass, I'd claim those kids too, just off the strength of her being the mother to my first born. I wouldn't feel right only doing for him and not his siblings if push cames to shove.

"Everything straight bro. Me, Psych and Arique alternate between having Smuttie a lot of the time."

"Why is that?"

"Because his lil ass is bad as hell. He don't fuck with his 'Untle Weasa' no mo'." He laughs lightly. I frown a little bit because I'm not understanding all the way yet.

"Okay, and what is Ericka doing? She sends him off to y'all? Why didn't nobody tell me sooner?"

"Calm down bro. I wasn't tellin' you none of that to alarm you. I was tellin' you that because you deserve to know the truth about your kids."

"I know you ain't a malicious person, J. Tell me what's goin' bro." I want to reassure him that I understand what he's getting at.

"Ericka is in the wind these days, it be hard to get in contact wit' her and shit like that."

"So she keeps Dearique with her?" I ask confused. Shit is not making any sense right now.

"I mean, half the time, yeah. He mostly stays wit' Psych and Janie thought. Whenever they both gotta work Ericka comes to get him."

"Fa real bruh, Weasel not lookin' out at all?" Given my current predicament, I know that the nigga really don't fuck with me. But for him to not fuck wit' my kids all of a sudden when they call him uncle is fucked up. The kids are innocent in this situation. I'm still not even one percent on why he has this imaginary beef with me to begin with. I really didn't give a fuck, but now that my kids are being affected by it makes me want to know where the animosity is coming from.

"I don't know what the fuck that nigga got goin' on. You know me and Psych never liked his ass, we tolerated him outta respect for you. Since my nephew said he don't fuck wit' him, we keep him wit' us. I'll kill that mutha fucka if he ever do somethin' to any one of my nephews. That's on everything I love." Joshua tells me in all seriousness. "You really don't need to worry about the boys. We got them."