Trust

Yeah tonight, I'm gonna fly

what are you doing?

It's Saturday

so Netflix? :D

Netflix

Ever since the first time he texted me, about two or three weeks ago, we've been constantly texting. It was nice, having someone to talk to all the time. Due to the 9 hour time difference between us, we weren't in sync at all. Most of the times I was already working while he was asleep and when he went to bed at night, I was already up, ready to start my day.

It was weird, a little bit hard to get used to, but still worth it. During the weeks I got to know little things about him, like in fact, he ate an omelet with feta cheese and spinach almost every day, that he liked to work out in the mornings rather than in the evenings, that he talked to his brothers every few days and he sometimes spent long hours without getting out of his home studio.

We talked about everything. Our likes, dislikes, families, jobs, dogs, our favorite Netflix movies or series, food, drinks, plus every random thing we'd find on the internet. The only thing that never made it into the conversation was Priyanka, which bothered me less than it should've. I've been home for weeks now, completely alone, only leaving the apartment for dog walks and for going to grocery shopping. The Face Time and Teams calls, as good as they were, never made up for the lack of human contact.

Talking to Nick took my mind of it almost completely. He's called me a couple of times, usually from his home studio – I guess that was where his wife would never bother him -, and we've spent hours talking about everything and nothing. On our third talk I've realized that I couldn't refer to him anymore as a complete stranger – I've shared things with him that I wasn't even comfortable sharing with my best friends.

I felt so free talking to him, letting go of my inhibitions and of the fear of the conversation turning awkward. I never really felt like this about anyone, and honestly the thought of Nick being the person who knew about my thoughts on the deepest level made me feel like I was in some ridiculous fanfiction. Things like this didn't happen in real life. They just didn't.

Maybe the knowledge that probably we weren't ever going to see each other again made me open up to him. Maybe the fact that he was married and there was no chance for my teenage girl fantasies to come true, made me act naturally around him. Whatever it was, it took my thoughts off of the quarantine and the current situation and I couldn't be more grateful.

I usually had this fear of being too much for the people around me. When I liked someone – as a friend -, I really loved them. I was the kind of person, who only had a few close friends, but would do anything for them. When I was thinking about those few people closest to me, there was nothing I wouldn't have done for them. I wanted to know about their lives, hang out with them and not being involved in something usually made me sad. And I was always afraid that this quality of mine would throw some people off, they'd thing I'm just too much, that I'm trying too hard.

So, I tried to keep it cool with Nick. Usually he was the one calling me and we'd only start up a conversation when he'd send the first text. After that we'd keep texting constantly, but since he was, well, Nick Jonas and he was the married one, I was careful. I didn't want to text him at the wrong time or call him when Priyanka was around. I mean, who would be happy if their husband kept texting some unknown girl...

how 'bout a call tonight?

haven't heard your voice for days

When he said things like this, my heart would usually start to race. Even though my brain was aware that there was a 0.0001 chance of anything ever happening between us, he was still one of the first few guys in my life that'd write something like this. I didn't mind it. It's been a while since I've had a crush on anyone, and who would be more perfect for this role than Nick? I've had a crush on him for the greater part of my life anyway.