Trust

Standing in the dark, although we've turned on the lights

In the beginning of September what I was afraid of for months became reality: I was fired. Not because I made a mistake, not because I wasn't working hard enough, simply because due to COVID the brand in Hungary wasn't profitable anymore. At the same time, I was offered an opportunity inside the company. An opportunity that came with a move.

The brand I was working on had its headquarters in Los Angeles. When they started firing people from the company, they kept the ones that 'could be a real asset in the future', or at least that's what they told me. I just had to be ready to move, something that I never thought would be an option for me in my life.

I had everything in Hungary. My friends, my family, my home, my dog. I've never been one of those people that were brave and went to unknown places with the plans of making new friends, building a new life. I never even went on Erasmus or Campus Mundi, the international programs my university was offering. I wasn't that kind of person to just get up and leave it all behind, to move thousands of miles away.

This was a big opportunity. Once in a lifetime, as Sophie, my boss said. She also stated that she was jealous, that she didn't think this would happen when they asked her to evaluate the team members. But apparently, I fit the brand's profile as so as they were willing to move me out to the USA.

I had to do this. This was life giving me an out of the current situation, something to help me take my mind off the heartbreak. This was something that I couldn't say no to.

I spent my last day at the Budapest office crying my eyes out. I couldn't stop. I loved working here, I loved my coworkers, my bosses, the whole company. In the evening we went for a dinner, just the three of us, the core of the team and toasted to new beginnings and opportunities.

I wasn't sure I was ready for change, yet a few days later I was on my way to the airport with my life packed into two big suitcases. It hurt to leave; hurt to leave my dog home with my parents, to step out on my apartment's door, to decide what was worth taking with me and what wasn't. It was pretty hard, yet I still preferred being sad over this than over Nick.

Moving to a new city, a city more than 6000 miles away from my home was extremely scary. I didn't know anyone, I wasn't part of the local culture, I've never even been to the US in my life. Always wanted to go, just never had the chance. At least, I've watched enough American series to have an idea about how the things were going to go, starting with the huge amount of paperwork I've had to fill just to get my work visa.

What does one see when thinking about Los Angeles? Palm trees, beaches, sun, surfers, green juices. No one tells you that it rains a lot, that some neighborhoods are quite dangerous, that it's perfectly normal to see a police chase on your third day in the city. And the tourists... Now that the virus was gone – or at least in sleep mode – tourists were everywhere. You couldn't move, couldn't do anything.

My first impression... wasn't too great. The minute I set foot in LA, I thought that I was making a huge mistake. I've already missed my family, my friends, my dog, everything. I didn't know a single soul, I've had no one to turn to when I wasn't sure about something. On the first night, I called my (now ex) boss, Sophie in tears, hoping that she'd save me and get me my job back at home back.

'Suck it up and do what I've taught you,' was all she said, being the confident lady boss I've always admired. She was more than just my boss, she was a real role model, someone I wanted to become in ten years. Hearing her say that this was the biggest opportunity in my life did the trick, the next day I started working with my old 'fake it 'til you make it' motto in mind.

Since it was the company moving me out, they agreed to pay my rent for the first six months of living in LA, which was quite generous. I got a condo in Hermosa, not so far from the office. You see, I understood why in movies they always have cars in LA. 'Not so far' meant 35 minutes by public transportation, one and a half hour on foot, yet only fifteen minutes by car.