Trust

Boy I know you wanna touch

I've never actually spent the night with a man before – well, except for one of my high school friends who was nowhere near my boyfriend, rather a best friend. I was a little worried that I'd might snore, or kick Nick sometime through the night, but thankfully none of those things happened.

Laying in Nick's arms felt so right, so natural that my tired mind couldn't see anything wrong with it. It didn't feel like doing something bad, it didn't feel like cheating. As soon as Nick's muscular arms hugged me close to his chest, so I could feel his heart beating, I felt like everything in our word was in its place.

I've slept probably better than any time in the past months. Nick's proximity was like a sleeping pill, I've felt safe in his arms and with him holding me all night it was easy to believe that the outside world didn't exist. That there were no fans, no Priyanka, no reputation to uphold, we weren't living words apart in every possible sense, we were just two young people sharing a bed for the night.

When the morning came, I started waking up from the peaceful sleep slowly. First I was halfway through the land of dreams and reality, starting to sense the world around me little by little. The tiny hairs on Nick's legs tickling my smooth skin, the warmth of him making me hot, my head on his chest rising and falling with each breath he took. One of his hands resting on my bare waist that sticks out between my top and pajama bottoms, the other holding onto my hand, while resting on his belly. I could feel the sunbeams making their way into the room, since we forgot to close the blinds yesterday.

It was all so peaceful. Something I never imagined I'd need or want, waking up next to a man that cared about me and that I had slowly started developing feelings for.

As his breaths became less calm and rhythmic, I could tell he was awake. Raising my head, not caring about what a mess my hair must've been, I turned to face his handsome face that somehow looked even more attractive with the glint of sleep still in his eyes.

'Morning, Beautiful,' he said in his hoarse morning voice, and I seriously had to hold myself back from letting go of the restraint and kissing him then and there. It was so extremely hard not to do it.

'Hey,' I said with a soft smile on my face, turning back to lay my head on his chest. At least this way I wasn't face to face with his inviting pink lips. Instead, I was fronted with the very much noticeable bulge under the covers, which made me even hotter.

Sure, morning wood. That's what someone who doesn't usually spend the night with men is inclined to forget about. I could feel redness creeping onto my face, but Nick didn't seem bothered by it for now. Why would he? It was completely natural.

Instead, he started running his hand from my waist to my shoulders along my spine, giving me instant goosebumps. His other hand was still holding onto mine, only for me to notice something that I haven't paid attention since we've been here.

'Where is your wedding ring?' I asked quietly, running my fingers along his ring finger. I didn't want to continue our fight / conversation from the night before, this was just something that I noticed. He was usually wearing it: I've seen it on his hand during the concert, interviews, public appearances and even our FaceTime calls.

I could feel that he sharply inhaled, then as if he was trying to calm himself, slowly exhaled. His hand on my back didn't stop moving for a moment.

'I took it off,' Nick said. 'Didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Didn't want to think about her at all, I guess.'

I stayed quiet for a few seconds, biting my lip. Honestly, I didn't want to think about her either. We still had a lot to think and talk about, but maybe, just maybe we could procrastinate that talk for a while. Just for today. Didn't we deserve one day?